It’s no secret. The ingredient is love.
To cook, to bake, to make something for someone is the one of the sincerest ways to say, I Love You. It asks you to be brave, to put yourself out there, to be vulnerable, to be open to rejection and criticism. It is no easy task, but we do it, because love is more than words, it is demonstrated.
“I made this for you.” Think of when your parent, spouse, partner, loved one, friend, child, sibling, grandparent, relative, or even a stranger has said that to you. The face lights up, the smile is shy, the laugh joyful, there may be a hug, or a kiss involved and sometimes there may be silence, with eyes suddenly glossy and bright.
Often, it is not really the ingredient or the setting that indicates the love that went into making a dish or drink, rather, it is the intent. I made this because I know it’s your favourite; you have not this in a long time; you’ve been asking me to make this for ages… but the best reason, is that you made it just because. And that ‘because’ is love; it’s care and appreciation.
Tomorrow is Valentine’s Day, and depending on where you are – in lockdown, prohibited by curfew or travel restrictions, or fortunate to still dine out – a meal at some point of the day is going to be shared as an expression of love and affection. This occasion, as it has been for every birthday, anniversary, holiday and event for almost a year now, will be marked with even more meaning. Mindful of the times in which we live, and the distance we are forced/asked to maintain to protect one another, we are reminded of the fragility of life, the importance of being present and of making the most of the moment we are in. So today, tomorrow, and everyday thereafter, when you sit down to eat or drink, think of the love that is shared with each bite or sip you take.
On a lighter side of things, there are some dishes, given the time, effort, and skill involved in making them (usually from scratch), means that you really have to love the person or persons to make them. Think about it.
Paratha/oil roti – From scratch, no roti mix involved. You’ve got to knead dough, let it rest, oil the dough, let it rest and then cook the roti and clap it with your hands, your bare hands! No shaking in a jug or wrapping in a kitchen towel and pounding with a belna (rolling pin). Feel the burn as each roti is clapped, now that is some loving!
Conkies – The hand-grating of pumpkin, and coconut; picking of banana leaves, cleaning and singeing of the leaves to make them pliable. Wrapping the filling in the leaves to make neat parcels and then steaming them to cook. That is like three-quarters of a day’s work because you don’t make Conkies in small quantities.
Cornmeal Cou-cou/Turn cornmeal – If you want to make it the old fashioned way, consider the 90-minutes you will be spending standing at the stove turning that cornmeal so that it does not scorch and comes away clean from the sides of the pot. The texture must be right when put into a well-buttered bowl to be moulded.
Coconut Choka – The coconut has to be cracked and the flesh removed from the shell, fire-roasted, grated and then ground on a sil, repeatedly, until it reaches the desired texture. Never mind all the other things that you are going to make to eat with it, like the dhal and rice.
Mauby – It ain’t a syrup and it didn’t just make yesterday. The bark and spices have been boiled and concentrated to create the liquor from which the drink will be made, brewed, fermented for a couple of days to give that signature taste. The taste of home you long for.
Pine tarts – The jam is not out of a bottle; it is homemade with a fresh local pineapple and the pastry is handmade, not store-bought.
Those are but a few things. As I leave you today, consider making something, any little thing that you can, it can be something to eat or drink, and do it just because. Just because you love and care. Put yourself out there.
Cynthia
cynthia@tasteslikehome.org
