“These last few months since the pandemic came to Guyana have really been hard for me. I know it has been hard for everyone but for me it was really hard but I still trying to get through by the Grace of God, I am taking it one day at a time.”
The words of a mother of three who even as she struggles to cope with remote learning for the younger of two children with depleted finances also had to deal with the sudden death of her husband and her mother being burnt and hospitalized.
We had a chance meeting via telephone and after conversing for a while she opened up. I asked her I could use part of her story for this space and she quickly agreed.
“I don’t mind because I know my story could be an inspiration to some woman who is struggling out there,” she answered. “For me giving up is never an option. A lot of persons might be going through their situations and want to give up, but you know if they know the kind of pressures someone else might be going through and they are still riding out the storm they might be inspired. I take my comfort in the Lord.
“To be honest the starting of the pandemic did not take too much [of a] toll on me and my family. We were accustomed to being at home and so we were just in and going out to work and doing the necessary. Things changed dramatically in June when my mother got burnt by a kerosene stove. She was pressuring peas to make dhal puri because we have a snackette where we sell snacks.
“She had turned down the stove but then it flare up and she picked it up to throw it through the window, but it fell, and she got burn to more than half of her body. She was hospitalised for over seven weeks. If it wasn’t for the pandemic I don’t know how I would have dealt with getting the children ready for school and then visiting the hospital three times a day. God was in charge.
“And then I had to deal with the attitude of some of the nurses at the hospital. When you have a patient at the hospital sometimes the treatment they receive is very unjust. My mother was the eldest person in the ward, but they treated her life she was the youngest. After a while she could not walk and needed assistance, but she had to beg for almost everything. Some of the nurses were very nice but others just did not do their duties.
“She was already in a state and you know the treatment broke her down mentally. But God was with her. I had to go every day because my mother only make two children and my brother died from cancer seven years ago, so it was really hard.
“And in the midst of it all I was by then trying with online learning for my children and we were repairing our house and part of the roof was off. My son left his laptop carelessly and rain came and damage it so that was another problem,” she recalled.
Husband got sick
As she struggled to cope, this sister’s husband took ill suddenly and life as she knew it took a downward spiral.
“In the height of all going on my husband who was very supportive got sick with high pressure. He start troubling with pressure and at the same time my mother waiting for a date to go to Georgetown Hospital to do grafting for the burns. She finally got a date and the night before I was to take her to the hospital my husband jump up and said he feels his pressure was very high and that he believe he would die. He told me to wake up the children for him to talk to them even though I telling him not to think like that.
“We went to the hospital and from the symptoms it was clear that he was getting a stroke and the nurse called it to the attention of the admitting doctor. They admitted him but said we had to take him to Georgetown for a CT scan. There was no ambulance, so we had to take him in a car. There was no doctor when we reach Georgetown, but the technician was there, so he did the scan and we travel back up because he was admitted in the hospital,” the sister said quietly.
At times as she spoke she got emotional, but she never allowed her tears to come as she said, “I cry enough.
“When he got back to the hospital my husband’s result was already there but there was no doctor to read it. I think there could have been a little compassion because everyone know the first few hours in a stroke patient is important. But he was in the hospital until the next morning with no treatment.
“It was the very next morning I had to take my mother to be hospitalized and when I went back to see him he could not speak anymore. I had to leave his brother with him and rush down to Georgetown with my mother, but on our way we got a call that he was transferred to Georgetown Hospital.
“So if you see me hurrying to get my mother admitted then running to the emergency to meet the ambulance when my husband came. By then he was just looking at me and tears was running from the side of his eyes. The doctors asked why we took so long to take him, but he was already hospitalized at the other hospital so none of us thought of taking him to the Georgetown Hospital,” she said.
Her husband was admitted, and he was there for a while, but he never really recovered.
“He died on September 12th on his son’s twentieth birthday. When my husband died they claimed they called and told the family but it only after I went to visit him that I learnt he died when I did not see him on the bed.
“And to get his body was another story… The morning I went they told me I have to come back. Well I told them if I don’t get his body I am not leaving. I had a hearse and everything and I did not behave too decent. I had to create a scene to get his body.
“My mother was very low at the time and I had to go and see her but because of the time I had to wait on the body the visiting hour pass. When I went now the nurses saying I can’t see her. I had to literally breakdown for these people to allow me to see her. When I done breakdown, I had to calm myself to go in because I did not want her to see me in a state and take on and get more sick. It was not easy girl…” the sister shared.
She buried her husband, and her mother was eventually released from the hospital.
Cannot function
Working five days a week and having a small cake business means that most of the sister’s time is taken up. She has to earn, but she is worried about her two younger children with the online learning.
“Especially my daughter, she is not an independent learner. So when it comes to dealing with all that is going on and dealing with online learning I cannot function the way I am supposed to. They send the package on WhatsApp and you have to pay to get it printed and that is more money. My daughter needs someone to sit down and read to her and teach her and most times I am unable to do it. Her older brothers have their own work to do so they can’t really help her.
“But you know in all of it I say to myself that there are people going through worse than me and they are still trying so I have to try. I take my daughter sometimes with me to work but it is not working. Sometimes she has Zoom class and a customer comes and the teacher complaining about background noise. And when I leave her home is worse. I have to find some solution. Right now I am trying to find lessons for her,” she continued.
I asked her what she thinks can be done for children like her daughter who really needs assistance.
“I don’t really know what is the solution but maybe if we can get volunteers and if they can keep a little lessons, not every day you know but just to give the children a little teaching. They might not grasp everything, but they may get something,” she answered.
“Right now I am giving God the praise for bringing my mother a far way. The burns have healed up. I am feeling the squeeze money wise. You know, when my husband was alive I used to sometimes quarrel how his salary was small. But now I see when it put with me own how much it used to do. Now I have all the bills to pay and I wish I had his salary to help. I really miss him because he was very supportive.
“I am just trying to build up some body strength now because I lost a lot of weight, but my mother is doing better she is now walking. When I come home in the afternoon I try to get like a 15-minute rest and then I am back up on my feet. I just have to keep going, I don’t have a choice,” she ended quietly.
This sister is a fighter, and I am sure her story has inspired someone. We are all fighting our battles we just have to take whatever support comes our way and just as the sister said, keep going, we don’t have a choice.
