By Krysta Bisnauth
Krysta Bisnauth is a Senior Advocacy Officer
at Freedom United. She migrated to New York
from Guyana in 2020.
Every year towards the end of November, you begin to see orange everywhere for a little over two weeks. It marks the 16 Days of Activism Against Gender Based Violence which is kicked off on the 25th. This day is officially recognized all around the world as the International Day for the Elimination of Violence Against Women (IDEVAW). On this day in 1960, 3 sisters were brutally murdered in the Dominican Republic for protesting dictatorship. Now, the whole world agitates against violence against women on the anniversary of the Mirabel sisters’ murders.
It’s quite fitting that the Caribbean has played such a role in this particular global movement. For a tiny region, our rate of violence against women is absurdly high. A recent survey conducted by UN Women of 5 Caribbean countries found that in each, half or over half of women have experienced some form of violence (physical, emotional, economic, etc) in their lives. For example, in Guyana, 55% of women reported experiencing some form of violence. The worldwide average is 33%.
The high rate of gender based violence is especially disturbing given that cases are always underreported with at least half of abused women too afraid to go to the police about it. Some of these women think that they don’t deserve better, some convince themselves that he’s going to change, most will stay and keep quiet because they don’t have options – far too many will lose their lives.
And the Caribbean will carry on as it always has – keeping primary focus on the plight of their favourites, men and boys.
This will be accompanied by overtures to women on special occasions – Mother’s Day, birthdays, Valentine’s, Women’s Day. Last Monday, for instance, many were quick to publicly express love and appreciation for the women in their lives. However, the purpose of the day of recognition suffers from transforming into something entirely different from its intention in the rush to share flowers and inspiring quotes.
International Women’s Day (IWD) grew out of early 20th century women-led labor protests and strikes. It was revived in the sixties as a day of activism for women’s rights. After its adoption by the United Nations in the seventies, it took on global popularity, and its observance included celebrations of landmark gender equality achievements.
It’s crucial that we remember its roots because while IWD is celebrated in the Caribbean, so is misogyny. ‘Feminist’ is still treated as an insult. One must hear “not all men” when trying to talk about gender-based violence. That women like to be harassed in the streets (it’s a compliment). That men are being persecuted. That men too are abused. That boys are being left behind in school. It’s always a problem to talk too much about women in the Caribbean – unless it’s devoid of political (power) implications. They’ll give us a day but even this small, fleeting space is not for talking about the serious structural challenges facing us. It’s for men to tell their wives how wonderful they are at being wives. For women to give a shout out to their girlfriends.
In a post-truth world, it is tempting to say that everyone is free to choose their own realities. Someone may say ‘Well, this is what Women’s Day means to me.’ But if IWD is stripped of its original meaning, what do we lose in the process? While it may seem like spoilsport behaviour to suggest that celebratory wishes don’t quite cut it, it is important to interrogate even seemingly benign practices if they might – albeit inadvertently – lead to harm. In this case, I think that the small space to truly reckon with the social and economic structures that contribute to violence against women must not be ceded to kind but empty gestures. In the celebration, the struggle must not and cannot be forgotten.
Because the fact is the rate of violence against women is too damn high.
We have this problem in the Caribbean whereby we are accustomed to viewing other people as means to an end. It’s not unnatural given how our societies were artificially implanted literally to be used by plantation owners, by the sugar barons, by the market. We were created – so to speak – as a means to an end.
And so, here we are centuries later and we cannot crawl out of this objectification of human beings – ourselves and others. This is not only sad but has dangerous implications.
The thing about violence against women is that it is rooted in the dehumanization of women and girls –viewing them as objects to be acted on. Women are for sex, for bearing your children, for cooking your food, for a good wine, to look at and touch. To be sexualized in popular culture – such as soca, dancehall, fete and chutney culture – but not the owners of their own sexuality. They don’t have the right to bodily integrity – to not being touched by people they don’t want to be touched by. To be educated about and have access to family planning. To leave relationships that no longer work for them. To be upset when they feel disrespected. To demand that better be done by them.
Women live and die by the flexing of male privilege and power. You know what that looks like? Only he can get mad. Only his offense, his hurt, his sense of injustice counts. When she feels these things, she’s a mad woman, hysterical, overreacting, childish, she’s weak. When he does it, he’s manly, justified. He has righteousness on his side and how dare she? Her stories are false, confused – she doesn’t think straight. His are the only truths.
Women must adjust themselves over and over again. We bend and fold ourselves to fit into neat corners, we extend ourselves to shelter others from falling blows, we rise and fall with the ebb and flow. We reinvent ourselves to be what is most needed – a chef? A cleaner? A teacher? No problem. A nurse? Sure thing. A butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker? Why not!
We work around the shortcomings of others, while working on our failings that others may find displeasing. We are understanding though we are not understood. We are strong – no, fierce – and gentle, smart and humble, sexy and wholesome, outgoing and mysterious, a domestic goddess and full time professional.
We do the paid work to help keep our families afloat and the unpaid work of child and home care.
And still, despite being able to handle all of this and more, we are then subjugated at home, in the workplace and in the political sphere.
These are the sorts of messages I’d love to have seen going around on Women’s Day: It’s not love if you don’t respect her when she says no. It’s not love if you beat her. It’s not love if you look at her with another man and contemplate murder. It’s not love if you think you know better than her at all times. It’s not love if you think you are in charge. It’s obsession, it’s addiction, it’s toxicity, desperation –but it isn’t love.
It’s not that women are naturally better at leadership or more deserving than men. That men do not lead complex and difficult lives in which they too might have to contort themselves to get by, to be shamed and mistreated, to be abused and oppressed. That there aren’t impossible, paradoxical standards placed on men as well. Most people in today’s world are struggling. That’s a fact. Global systems do not serve the majority of people.
But at the bottom of every vulnerable group are women. Out of the general struggle facing most, women and girls have had additional, peculiar burdens because of our gender.
Also, crucially, women are people. What the struggle for women’s rights is ultimately about is being treated with the dignity deserving of a human being.
So, what’s to be done?
For starters, we have to have these conversations. It does not belong to women’s rights groups or feminists. It must be had by all of us. IWD is a great time to do so.
For men, practical measures include viewing women as equals to start off – endowed with as much agency as yourselves. If women are different – for example, more emotional – then their differences should be accepted as a fact of the variety of life. If they’re the same – that is to say, emotionalism runs throughout the gender and sex spectrum though environmental factors may suppress or encourage according to social roles – then they should be treated as such. Either way, just provide the space for women to be who they are. Learn about patriarchy, sexism, and other forms of repressive social practices. Demonstrate egalitarian behaviour to other men and boys. Support institutional measures to empower women.
For women, take up space. Be yourselves, speak your minds, stand up for what you feel deep down is right, trust yourselves. At the same time, interrogate where instincts come from and be aware that centuries of sexist culture can feel as natural as breathing. Learn about feminism. Recognize that when women fail to be good examples in uncommon roles, it could be the result of sexism rather than a justification for it. Change begins with oneself, of course, but gender equality is not and will never be the result of an isolated moment of feeling good about oneself but rather requires systemic social change for all. Be wary of a version of feminism or ‘empowerment’ that requires you to simply purchase things.
The Caribbean needs progressive social structures to empower women and girls including sex education in schools, access to family planning, safe abortion services in public hospitals, banning corporal punishment, adequate shelters and support systems for women who need to leave abusive situations, subsidized or free child care for working mothers, and law enforcement that knows how to handle cases of domestic and sexual violence in ways that don’t re-victimize survivors. This would be a good start.
Everyone could do with practicing non-violent communication, self-reflection and critically assessing social structures that influence their lives and relationships.
And until this utopian vision manifests itself, contribute to movements that expand the rights of women and girls. Support local NGOs attempting the Sisyphean task of fighting against gender-based violence and sexual and reproductive freedom. Of course, where there are wins, celebrate them. Celebrate the legalization of abortion, high rates of women’s political participation, rigorous domestic violence infrastructure, decriminalizing same-sex relations and a vibrant feminist Caribbean community.
Celebrate the wins – but the struggle continues.
