Two days ago, out of the blue, I had an awful experience with the sudden death of a friend here, Colin Ming, in a traffic accident (he was on a motorbike) that just shattered me. Why I’m not really sure. We were not boyhood companions, but perhaps because our friendship goes back to those times, many years ago, when the Tradewinds trips to Guyana began, and my career as a musician was building, and Colin’s love for the songs was a kind of glue, always there between us as is our love for Guyana. Very early I saw he was a rock, this guy, with various issues in Guyana. He was very involved in various sports matters, a very principled man, and it was a joy to be around him. Marvellous sense of humour, always in play, and his laugh was like bells ringing; it just took him over completely, no matter what the occasion, where he was, who was listening…Colin’s laugh would consume him, total release, it would transform his face, affecting people nearby, causing stares, he didn’t seem to notice the reaction, and his ethics, his veracity, those things were always in play, day or night, big or small. His death truly rocked me. Partly because it was so sudden and so unswerving. I heard he was in a traffic accident and in hospital, and almost in the same breath, I heard he had been severely injured, and that he had died. It tore me up. Colin, for me, was one of those totally good people, no blemishes I knew of, always the same, always supporting and amiable and solid. A friend with no drama, no issues, everything easy. I felt his loss as if he had been my son. I don’t really know why. We were not daily companions, by any means, but I felt this weight of grief; it brought me to tears. It’s two days now and I’m still stunned and not sure as to why it did me in so. Perhaps the totally pointless manner of his going, so much so I know I would not be able to go to his funeral; a deep, deep sadness and so meaningless. It came like a wave, unravelled me, and the crazy suddenness of it, and the quality this man had, naturally so, no fanfare, no splashy behaviour, just a class individual, and to be taken like that; in my head, it felt like some kind of madness.
This, of course, is my panorama which is limited. I didn’t have the day-to-day experiences in his family circle and people he interacted with. I know virtually nothing about his early experiences and the things and people who shaped him, like his brother Stanley, but from my limited lens I realized early on that this was a special man, integrity was a big issue with him, and that drew me, as it did others.. Each of us comes to know people with a unique dedication to a discipline or a cause; it is almost like an aura that surrounds them as they go through their days. It’s not something you can touch or photograph, but it is nonetheless as real and as vivid as if it were. And indeed, it is real. So it was, with Colin Ming.
It is human nature to look for explanations for pivotal things, to help us cope with the trauma of a loss, and so I look at this episode, and try to make sense of it while fully knowing the futility of such a search. There really is no answer; the vicissitudes of life, some glorious, some rending, are playing out, coming at us again and again, leaving us searching for answers, seeking out comfort, leaving us with more questions than answers, but still not leaving us alone.
As I write this, the trauma is already happening, obviously in his family, in that tight inner circle, and in the people, many of them in the sports field, with whom he interacted and with the many who were recipients of his giving nature.
I can’t speak for others, but purely from my own lens, there remains the unrelenting “why” of these matters which are so overwhelming that our minds naturally remain engaged on the issue. And I know that I am not alone here. Clearly, many others know the creation called Colin Ming, many even better than I knew him, and for them, too, his sudden demise leaves them similarly groping for answers, for clarity. A man apart, this one. Truly, a shining life.
