When Minister of Human Services and Social Security Dr Vindhya Persaud recently expressed gratitude to foster parents who have “opened their hearts and homes to children” in need of family-based care, she was referring to women like Melrose George, who has been fostering children for the past eight years.
Over those years George has fostered over 15 children. At present she has three boys under her care and while she does not tell a romantic story about the process, she was proud to share that she never had cause to return any of her foster children prematurely. They all remained with her until alternative care was found for them.
“These children need a lot of help. I wish I had a facility to help with more than I am dealing with right now. If you can, just help to save a child because what you are doing is saving a young man or woman to be better and become somebody in life,” George told the Stabroek Weekend in an interview.
George is among many parents who are part of the foster care system operated by the Childcare and Protection Agency with the main aim being to provide a home environment for children who for some reason have to be removed from their homes. The situation is temporary as the agency works on reintegrating the children with their relatives or finding another permanent solution.
May is designated National Foster Care Month and this year it is being observed under the theme ‘Foster Care as a Support for Families, not a Substitute for Parents’.
In a statement to observe Foster Care Month, Minister Persaud revealed that for the period January to May this year the ministry has 118 girls and 104 boys being cared for by 128 parents. Seventy-nine of the children have been placed with non-biological families and 143 are in kinship care. She said while the figures are good for Georgetown, they are not the same for outlying regions and far-flung and riverain communities. Therefore, the ministry is interested in promoting this month seeking to interest residents in those areas to fostering children.
George became interested in the foster care programme after seeing a television advertisement, which encouraged people to become foster parents.
“I decided that I am going to do this. I have three children of my own and at the time the two boys were adults and the last one, a girl, was in high school,” George said about her decision.
At that time though she wanted to have a baby and preferably a girl. She applied, listing her preference on the application. She believed that fostering a baby would have allowed her the opportunity to help mould the child and that it might “not have been too much of fatigue”.
But instead of a baby girl George’s first fostering experience brought her not one but two children, a boy and girl aged six and four years old; they were siblings.
“When I got that call telling me about the two children I was on the road and I said I didn’t cater for two children because I was preparing for this baby girl. But I said if that is what God wanted me to do then I will do it,” she recalled.
It was Christmas Eve when she took the first two foster children into her home and while it was a joyous period, George said, she soon realised how challenging it could be to foster children. The siblings went to her from an institutional care home, and, according to George, came with their own challenges.
“In as much as we loved them right away, there were things that were challenging with them. You know, their behaviour pattern we had to learn to deal with that. I was a single mom with three children just trying to cope but I don’t like to give up on children. If everyone gives up on children or on each other, then what life would be?” she asked rhetorically.
She said it took her almost a year to get the siblings properly settled. She had to understand their background and the fact that they had been institutionalised meant that at times they might have had to fight for survival.
There was a little stealing, she recalled, adding, “… and if you put something for them to eat, by the time you turn they actually finish eating. It was like rush… [one] day the little girl said to me, ‘Mommy it ain’t easy when you in the home. You use to had to eat your food fast, fast because them big girls use to take away you food’”.
George said she had to sit them down and talk to them and help them to understand that there was no need to gobble down their food as not only no one would eat it, but there was always more for them.
The two children remained in her care for almost two years before they were reintegrated and that proved difficult for her, the children and some of her relatives who had grown to love them.
“I did cry,” she answered when asked. “It was hard. They were not 100% comfortable but I tried to help them and we didn’t want them to go.” She said their leaving was made easier as initially the relatives they were placed with allowed her to see them and for them to even spend a few weekends with her.
Sadly, they also had to be removed from that home and George lost contact with them. She said she still thinks about them.
She did not have very long to miss the siblings because soon after they left, she was given a three-month-old baby girl to care for.
“I took her in, and we bonded and for the family it was harder when she had to go. After the first experience and now that I was in the system, I had conditioned my mind but for the family having the little girl there no one wanted to condition their minds [to the fact] that she had to leave,” she said of that experience.
She recalled that her relatives stepped up and helped to take care of the little one, and for one of her sisters who had no children, “it was like her heart being ripped out when she had to go”.
‘By the Grace of God’
Asked how she managed to foster over 15 children over the years, George responded: “I do it by the Grace of God. If he don’t give me the strength to do it then I can’t do it. He does it and then the rest falls into place.”
She has been fostering teenagers, from ages 13 to 16, and George admitted that this presented new challenges. With teenagers there were times when she had to reach out to the agency for assistance and the officers would intervene and speak to the children, sometimes in her presence.
George said she would attempt to assess each child and learn their behavioural patterns.
“It is a strain sometimes but my motivation and I can be honest with you, it is to look out for young people. I have sons and a daughter and I have been fortunate… God also blessed me with three grandsons, triplets,” she said.
George noted that she is not perfect but she tries to do good and she wants to leave a legacy, so that if for some reason her children or grandchildren need a helping hand when she is no longer around people can remember what she did and assist them.
George said she has no intention of giving up on any child placed in her home because for her they need help and she would provide same.
“I have grandchildren and if any of them end up in a situation I would not want anybody to give up on them. That is what is pushing me to go on in as much there would come a time when I would say I had enough, but right now I will continue,” she said.
George has since rented the bottom flat of a house next door to her home, and she and the foster children share that apartment as she now has bigger children and fosters more than one at a time.
She noted that she had her first child at age 17, all three of her children are now adults and she is still young at the age of 45, so she will continue to give back to society through fostering.
‘You have to love children’
Speaking to potential foster parents George warned that no one should think about how such a process would benefit them but instead do it for love.
“If you don’t it for love you can’t do it. You have to love children, because it would make you frustrated. I would say if you can, come out and be on board, children need the help from people if they can’t get it from their parents and relatives. Get on board because you never know what tomorrow may have in store for you,” she encouraged.
She pointed out that one does not have to be rich to be part of the process, but willing to share what they have.
“You don’t have to be a millionaire because I am not close to being a millionaire; you just have to want to help,” she said.
Meanwhile, Persaud pointed out that at present, in order to work with the families and make things right for the children in outlying areas they have to be brought to Georgetown.
“We are pleased to say that we are working to change this. During this month, officers of the Childcare and Protection Agency are heavily promoting foster care across the regions, explaining how our programme works and how individuals could be part of this rewarding and positive experience of being a foster parent,” she said.
According to the minister, they hope that at the end of the month, there would be increased awareness of the programme and families in the hinterland regions would sign on to be foster parents, all in an effort to have the service available to all our children across the country.
There is also a plan to raise the level of awareness of the programme and to recognize the important role and dedication of foster parents.
“Even as you continue to care for our young ones, we urge you to be willing to work towards helping the children to be reunited with their biological families. We want to remind you that while foster care offers continued family-based care, support, guidance and love to a child who has to be separated from his/her biological family, it is only a temporary arrangement until the child can safely be returned home. Once again, thank you very much for your efforts,” Persaud said.
