Tiffeney Ageda is a woman who is living in constant fear as she said an ex-boyfriend has been stalking and harassing her even as he manipulates the system to make it appear that he is the victim.
For almost a year, every report she has made to the police has been matched by one made by the 29-year-old man and even though at one time she was obviously injured following an assault, the police charged both Ageda and the power-lifter, after he claimed that she had assaulted him as well.
Recently, in frustration, she detailed the abuse and harassment on Facebook which included instances of cars belonging to her and her brother being damaged. The woman is currently not in the country. CCTV footage shows two masked individuals pulling up in front of the home on a motorcycle. The pillion rider jumps off the bike, runs and hits the two vehicles, damaging the windscreen of one and breaking a window of the other, runs back to the bike and speeds away.
The police are investigating but a senior officer has indicated that their hands are tied since they cannot identify the perpetrator.
Meanwhile, hours after Ageda posted on Facebook, the man, using an alias, did the same, alleging that she was harassing him and did not want him to move on. He posted a voice note in which a young woman asked where he was and when he said he was at home she asked how he got home so fast. He told her not to call again as he was about to bathe and go to bed and the young woman told him he could not do so. Ageda denied that the voice was hers. In a most recent posting of a recording the two seem to be discussing pregnancy. The female informs that she is not pregnant as she informed before and he questioned why she had said so in the first place. The female also informed that it is better they go their separate ways as he was not ready for a child and settle down. Contacted Ageda said she is unclear if it was indeed her in the recording as she had not heard but said they had a conversation about pregnancy “a very long time ago”.
The man also posted photographs of what appeared to be scratches on some parts of his body as proof of him being assaulted by the woman. He later removed those photographs.
Ageda accused the man’s parents, more specifically his mother, of enabling his actions.
There is also conversation with a female in a text form in which Ageda was informed that the young man wanted the female to make a false report to the police allegeding that she was harassed by her.
Meanwhile, since she shared her experience on social media, she said, other women who claimed that they had been abused by the same man have reached out to her.
One of them joined Ageda on a Zoom meeting with journalists recently and detailed how she had to flee Guyana to escape from the man, who actually followed her to the US.
“I am currently on vacation. I have never felt so free of not being in Guyana but I am worried about my family when I just come to have a peace of mind. I don’t really don’t know what else to do at this point. I am just looking on to see what will happen because I really don’t want to be a statistic. I am putting this out there so that if anything happens to me the world would know, and he cannot cry self-defence,” the woman said.
Confided in a doctor
On August 16, 2020 after yet another assault, Ageda said, she decided to leave the relationship. Her face was battered by the man while his parents slept in another room. She recorded the moments after the assault and she could be heard hollering and asking to go to the hospital. Another woman (whom she said is the man’s mother) was heard asking what happened and the man said she kicked him in the face.
Ageda said the man’s mother asked her to lie about the assault, something she did in the past, but on this occasion she told the doctor she was beaten by her boyfriend. The mother could be heard telling the doctor that her son was also hit and that it was a fight but the doctor insisted on reporting the matter as per protocol.
The man evaded arrest until August 25, 2020 when he reported that he was assaulted. He was placed on bail and turned up at her workplace shortly after, but the secretary informed him that she was not there.
Ageda was granted a restraining order against the man and he followed suit, obtaining one against her.
“I don’t know how he is able to make allegations and get what he wants. But both of us got restraining orders and I felt that was unfair because I presented evidence. I was told that anybody could get a restraining order,” the frustrated woman said.
She said prior to August 2020 her attempts to leave were thwarted by his begging and threats and he would also show up at her place of employment.
Since August last year, Ageda said, she has endured so much that it affected her mentally and she received counselling from an organization.
“We both get charged for the [August 2020] assault and I felt that was unfair and the fact that I had to deal with that… It was very emotional and I was going through depression. I was going through a lot. While I did have a therapist I felt that it was not consistent and I couldn’t take it anymore,” she said.
The trial dragged on and last year the magistrate, who was pregnant, gave them a date for this year.
“While all of this is going on I am being tormented and he is out there walking free and I have to be waiting so long just to have my matter dealt with. I got so frustrated and we both decided to drop the matter because I was thinking about my job and if the magistrate convicted both of us it would be on my record,” she said.
“My mistake was doing that because then he started to pursue me relentlessly. I was trying to move on and he didn’t like the idea… In April, he was ringing my workplace and I told him I don’t want to see him and he was not leaving me alone. He think I am with someone else, and he was harassing me.
“It got so bad I couldn’t even stay in my house. I live alone and my mom would stay sometimes with me… I went by my brother. He showed up there. We have surveillance of him walking up to the gate and going into the yard. Driving past the yard.”
She eventually returned home, but said he continued to harass and stalk her, following her to the gym at one time.
She reported these incidents, providing the evidence she had and there is a court matter set for June 21 for his alleged breaching of the restraining order. Ageda said she plans to appear virtually at that hearing.
Ageda said the man would follow her around then video her and go to the station and make reports about her harassing him. She would be called by the police, but then he would not follow through on the reports.
He showed up at her workplace – the Mayor and City Council – and Mayor Ubraj Narine reported the incident to the police. His mother later visited the Mayor to apologise for her son’s behaviour.
‘Getting no justice’
“I am really not a public person to put my business out there. I now have to because I am getting no justice. I don’t feel safe. My life and my family have been threatened. I can do nothing in peace in Guyana. It is so stressful and mentally draining,” the woman said.
Since she made the public posts, the Ministry of Human Services and Social Security reached out to her and counselling was offered as a first action. Ageda needs more but she said she would take advantage of the counselling even though she is hesitant.
“I have put this out there. The very people I have seen talk about abusive relationships in Guyana, people talk but they don’t walk the walk, it is all for show. It is never that easy to leave the relationship. I have been receiving so many messages from women in Guyana who are going through situations like this,” the woman said.
“At this point I am in a paranoid state. I don’t know who to trust and where to begin… I feel like more needs to be offered instead of counselling,” she said.
Ageda said her lawyer was in the virtual meeting she had with the ministry’s official who reached out to her and some guidance and recommendations were made as it relates to the upcoming court matter.
Ageda said she lived with the man from August 2018 to August last year and she was constantly abused. There were times when the man’s parents were out of the country, she said, but they knew of some instances. The first time she ended up at the hospital she was asked to lie about how she got the injuries and she complied.
“I had to lie at the hospital. They begged. I was in love with him, and from there they [the parents] knew what was happening. When it happened in the house they knew. The most they did was try to talk to him and he would say I hit him or I looked like I was going to hit him and he hit me first. One time they recommended counselling with a pastor,” she said.
They had the first meeting but it did not end well after she informed the pastor she no longer wanted to be in the relationship. After the pastor met with him alone, he left the office, grabbed her from the area where she was sitting and took her out of the building. They never returned.
Fled
The other woman who joined the Zoom forum related that she had dated the man for nine months in 2016. She said once he had beaten her so badly that she fled the car they were in and hid under a truck. He followed her. There were people around but no one offered assistance. He dragged her from underneath the truck and took her back to the car.
She spoke about being kept in their home against her will for days and when she left him he would follow her and harass her. She said her mother became fearful and indicated to the man’s mother that her son was going to kill her.
The mother then suggested purchasing a ticket for her to go to the US. The woman said hours after she arrived, the man turned up at her relatives’ home in the US and told her she had to return to Guyana with him the following week. In fear, she said, she went with him to his relatives’ home where his mother was also. She spent a week and then one day when he and his mother went shopping she fled to another state. She has not seen him since.
She said he contacted her several times informing her that he was going to kill her. She related that his mother texted her and told her that the man was not eating and wanted to kill himself. The mother also told her that they could work through the issues, she said.
The man also posted sex tapes of him and her on social media. Eventually, he left the US for Guyana as she said even though she was embarrassed she had no intention of returning to the relationship.
“I am just glad I got out. He knows what you are afraid of and he would say I am going to post the videos so you can stay. His mother would say it is your fault you should not get him upset. He needs to be locked up and not get any bail or anything, the woman said.
Ageda said she just wants to be allowed to move on and for the man to be held accountable for his actions.
“He is a master manipulator,” she said.
