This is week three in my husband’s home country. I like coming here, it helps me to recharge my batteries. Whenever I am here, I am always relieved of the responsibilities of running a home. The mental load of organizing meals, grocery lists, laundry and so on, are shifted to my husband’s family who view it as a chance to show care.
Household labour is exhausting and gruelling. When it is paired with working from home while being in a pandemic, it can make one feel like a hamster in a cage. How can one actually practice self-care in such conditions?
Self-care has become a term that has been thrown around freely to associate with anything that brings temporary joys even if it conflates itself with basic human needs like cooking a healthy meal or getting some exercise in. The cycle of being in constant work isn’t normal even though that is what we are trained to think. The concept of hustle culture is toxic and the normalization of always grinding is physically and emotionally draining.
Most of our lives have been affected either by the pandemic, the current floods in Guyana or perhaps both. The desire for the most basic of things can understandably feel like a form of self-care. To want anything more may even feel a bit insensitive and spoilt, but the reality is that such mentality is actually what contributes to the free throwing around of self-care as a means of just settling for some temporary relief
I am grateful for a community which understands that for one to function effectively, one must be cared for at times. That working yourself to exhaustion isn’t a sign of strength but rather internationalized hustle culture toxicity. I am grateful that household labour is openly acknowledged as real labour and necessary work so families can function in this overly capitalist society.
These three weeks have made me appreciate all the things I have been able to do to help revive my spirit, even though some of them involved physical effort.
When you have more time, helping others doesn’t feel overwhelming. Self- care is constantly tied to personal relaxation and activities focused on one’s self, but for me being able to assist family with small tasks felt good. Seeing people satisfied and happy from your efforts soothes you; there is a small sense of purpose and gratitude.
Indulge in the things you like and not what everyone else likes. Try to resist feeling guilt for taking time out and shut down commentary that is riddled with ridicule. Our culture of always interrogating people’s needs keeps us spinning in a loop of feeling undeserving.
While having a good night’s sleep and rest should be seen as satisfying a basic need, it is normal for life to get in the way and for sleep hours to be negotiated and occasional daytime resting to seem like something only associated with babies. Listen to your body and force yourself to treat these needs as normal because they are.
These three weeks were exactly what the doctor ordered.
