We do not hear about them often, but there are fathers who take on parenting single-handedly; one such man is 33-year-old Anthony Anand, who has two sons.
Anand was 20 when the mother of his children gave birth to their first son Christopher and while it was overwhelming to have a child at a young age, he shared that he was overjoyed also and could barely contain his excitement. Two years later they celebrated the birth of their younger son, Alex.
Becoming a dad, Anand said, gave his life new meaning. Life had more purpose and he was eager to take on the new responsibilities.
According to the father, like any new family, he and his wife intended to raise their boys together. However, life did not go as planned and after dealing with marital issues during their five years together, Anand’s wife left with both boys.
The man shared that he would visit his sons and things remained like this for a short while until he received a call from his brother informing him that his wife had left his older son with Anand’s brother and his family. He said he learnt that the mother of his children had left the child there, informing his relatives that she was going to the market and would return for him but never did.
Anand took his son to live with him; this was in 2016. Not very long after, he learned that his younger son had been left with his godmother.
The child remained there and that family has nurtured him over the last five years. Anand shared that they have since asked to adopt him and while he is grateful for all they have done, it is not a step he wants to take.
Owing to his job, he tries to make time to spend with Alex, who lives an hour away, at least once a month. Anand worked 12-hour shifts as an attendant at the Georgetown Public Hospital then. The father shared that he is grateful to his sister who stepped in to help with Christopher. When he left for work at 7 am, he would take Christopher to his sister, who would see that the boy is fed and taken to school. Anand picked him up at night on his way home. Whenever he worked the night shift, his son spent the night at his sister’s.
It was a challenging time, the man said, adding that he did not know how he would have made it without the help of his sister and Alex’s godmother. Anand has since left the hospital and now works as a security guard.
Asked whether the children’s mother has stayed in touch with them, he said as far as he knew she has not.
Aside from feeling frustrated at having to work and take care of his son without her help, Anand confessed that he felt resentment towards the woman he had once shared a relationship with but added that he has come a long way since then. “Is situation like this that make me more strong,” he said.
The father added that even when Christopher asks about his mother, he does not say negative things about her. He always encourages him to be respectful of her. “He knows that she left him with my brother and go away. I does tell him, ‘You with daddy now. Daddy will take care of you,’” Anand said.
There were times when things were really difficult but according to Anand, before he could reach an emotional breaking point, he took time out to sit down with a friend he could confide in. This always made him feel better.
He has since found a partner. Christopher and the new woman in his life, he said, adore each other. Importantly, Christopher and Alex are in touch with each other. They are constantly on the phone talking.
“It’s challenging being a father but rewarding,” Anand said.
Some of his favourite memories, he shared, are of when the boys were much younger, and he looked forward to going home to their giggles and taking them and their mother out for walks or shopping. One minute they are little and the next they have grown so much that you wonder where the time went, Anand noted.
As regards their personalities, the dad pointed out that 12-year-old Christopher is timid and loves art, especially calligraphy, while ten-year-old Alex is more talkative and likes Mathematics. Already, Christopher is telling him that he hopes to join the army, a dream he remains supportive of. Alex is yet to begin saying what he intends to do for a career someday, but Anand said that he sees him working in one of the big offices.
He said he is always thinking about their future and ensuring that they do not become delinquents. Like any father, he hopes that his sons grow up to become great men in society and lead fulfilling lives.
“I’d like to encourage fathers to not leave their kids no matter what. Always maintain them the best you can. Don’t blame their mothers for the situation if you and them are not together. Don’t ignore them…,” he admonished.
He said that while he cannot recall a Father’s Day that included Alex, he plans on starting a new tradition with his boys today when he spends time with them.
