I appreciate that my gym has a lady gym, but regret that the journey to it always feels like walking a gauntlet of visual inspection by thirsty men. Gawking men undressing women with their eyes despite what they wear makes me nervous and uncomfortable. For a while, I thought I would be able to handle it, but every time it happens I am always so enraged. The encounters make me feel small and almost like a piece of meat.
Two weeks ago while I was in Bucharest walking down the street near a construction site, I was met with the usual catcalling. A switch flipped and I just couldn’t help it. I stuck out my middle finger at them. I guess I had reached my breaking point.
Most men fail to realise that women don’t like their unsolicited and over zealous attempts to get our attention. They fail to comprehend that women dress the way they do so as to indulge their personal moods.
Just like I had my breaking point, I guess so did Victoria’s Secret a few months ago. The company had announced that it was diversifying its product portfolio to become more inclusive. After facing consistent backlash over diversity and falling ratings, the famous Victoria’s Secret angels have ascended to heaven. The company said after years of parading one brand of sexy, it was finally ready to accommodate all women.
Women haven’t been short changed when it comes to options over the past years. Accessibility of undergarments has become a focal point for all clothing retailers, from Pretty Little Thing to your local variety store, options are endless. In addition to this with brands like Savage X Fenty by Rihanna using diversity as its main and unique selling point whilst having streamed shows of its products, Victoria’s Secret was more or less pushed into survival mode.
All of this change didn’t just drop from the sky. It has been bubbling for years and has probably been accelerated through social media. The content surrounding body positivity and embracing your brand of sexy or comfort has now become vogue. In a once saturated world of one brand of sexy, women have become even more confident with themselves and their bodies. So, why do men still feel so entitled? Do they feel threatened? Why do institutions still uphold archaic codes that unconsciously train us to think there is a morally right way to dress ourselves? Why was the Norwegian women’s beach handball team recently fined for ditching the sexist bikini bottoms? Why is it such a hassle to be free from being constantly policed on how you should look and what you should wear?
I get that sticking up a middle finger to those who feel they can leverage power over you might not be ideal, but the frustration that leads to it is what we constantly need more of particularly from the opposite sex. It was that same frustration that forced brands to capitalize on our true needs and while the world may not change overnight, what must remain are the consistent reminders that we want to be ourselves. We want to feel good in our skin and what we wear and we don’t necessarily need anyone to show us with their eyes or well marketed shows what we are.
Perhaps when I go to my next gym session I might ask a gawker if he left something on me because it is really the little steps that make all the difference.
