Dear Editor,
Despite the prevalence of sexual abuse within our society, it is still a topic that many continue to shy away from. This reluctance to discuss sexual abuse is incredibly harmful, as it helps to maintain a lot of misinformation, stereotypes and victim blaming towards survivors. As a result, many persons who suspect or become aware of those who are being sexually abused do not know how to adequately address it. Often, this leads to them saying or doing the wrong thing. Talking openly about abuse will not only make the topic less taboo, but will also equip more persons with accurate ways in which to respond to cases of violence, particularly if it is a child who is being sexually abused. While girls are more likely than boys to disclose instances of sexual abuse, the reality is that many children will not come forward with their abuse if they are not asked. This partly has to do with the fact that many do not recognize what is happening to them as abuse and it is only as they grow older and become more knowledgeable do they come to terms with what has happened to them. So, parents, caretakers, service providers should all aim to become familiar with the signs of abuse. These signs are not always obvious, so paying attention to children and their physical or behavioral changes can make all the difference. Watch out for children who might suddenly become withdrawn or less talkative, engage in conversations or behaviours that are “too adult” for their age, become more aggressive or who begin exhibiting regressive behaviors such as thumb sucking, bed wetting etc.
If you notice signs that makes you concerned that a child is being sexually abused, try to talk to them in an environment that is non-threatening and comfortable. Children often pick up verbal and non-verbal cues to assess whether they are in trouble or not and this can impact if and when they open up to you. So, ensuring that you use a casual tone and calm body language when beginning a discussion with them can go a long way with a child who is feeling fearful or anxious. One needs to be very mindful of the way they respond to the child’s experience of abuse. Avoid using any statements that might indicate that you are judging or blaming them for what happened. Reassure them that they are not in trouble and thank them for confiding in you. Maintaining the child’s safety is paramount, so ensure that they are in a safe and secure place. Let the child know that you will be talking to someone who can offer them more help and support and report the case to the relevant authorities such as the Child Protection Agency or the nearest police station. If a parent is not abusing the child, then consulting with the parents before making the report is recommended. Reporting any crime, particularly child sexual violence, can be a very emotionally taxing experience. So even as you go through the necessity of reporting, remember to care for yourself throughout the process. Children are unable to protect themselves when being abused, so aiding in their protection through reporting can be a life saving act.
Akola Thompson
Blue Umbrella Consultant
To report or seek counseling, please call 914/227-
0979/227-2023/233-3500
