Warning: The following article contains content about sexual abuse that may trigger an anxiety response in some readers.
Recently I came across what could only be described as a horrifying video on Facebook. In it, a woman who lives in Grenada, but claims to be Guyanese, chronicled the sexual abuse of her three-year-old daughter by her much older partner.
She expressed remorse for allegedly poisoning him, but said she had to because the man would have eventually penetrated her baby girl and she had no choice. Online searches revealed that the police in Grenada are indeed investigating the man’s death. They said he died in June and was buried in July this year. From all indications, the investigation began after the woman posted the video.
Below is the transcript of the video with her name redacted to protect the identity of the child.
“Hi my name is [name of the woman] I am from Guyana and my boyfriend from Grenada. He bring me and my child down to Grenada. We were together actually for three years. But I have a confession to make,” she starts to cry.
“Yea after I came back, I came back in 2019 the 30th of December with my daughter and you know I was so happy, so happy, thinking that God give me the right man you know to find and to settle down… Anyway I think like that, I feel good. But one day he, me and the child was on the bed lying down,” as she spoke her facial expression was a grimace as if she was in pain.
“She had on bare tights, no top because I trust him. When I wake up, I saw he hands in my daughter pants,” she emphasised the last words slowly as she spoke.
“My daughter tights. She ain’t had on no underwear, I saw he hands in she tights. I confront him. He doubt, he doubt,” she said as she shook her head as if in disbelief.
“Then the next week, I wake up from my sleep catching him sneaking into my child room. I ask him why he going in [name of the child] room, he telling me he didn’t going in [name of the child] room. Okay I forget all that I trust him again. I leave my daughter home with and go to work…
“When I come back, my child tell me that she and daddy bathe naked skin in the bathroom. Dah in hurt me. Wah hurt me bad is how he [made the child perform oral sex; he also performed oral sex on the child]. Ow he was over fifty-four dem time duh, fifty-five. Fuh a big man she could be he daughter, she could be he granddaughter, she could be he great gran… Why he do that?
“So he continue, and then after I catch him playing with my child, catching he sneaking out de room… A night my daughter was sleeping and I hear she bawl out and I jump out my sleep when I open my eyes I see he running out my child room. When I go to my child and check she, she pants was open.
“How he could do something like that? Every time he lift my daughter up or anything, he getting stands [an erection].
“Why he do that? Why [name of the man] do that? So I didn’t know,” she held her face in the palms of her hands as she spoke. “He use to threaten to kill me if I go to the station. But you see is just me and me child alone in Grenada. I didn’t trust nobody like you know to tell them.”
“It use to kill me inside, I had no one to talk to. I couldn’t talk to my mom because she was till back in Guyana. So I didn’t know, I sit down one day and I just think of a idea,” she said as she wept.
“I think of a idea and now it really hurting me. So I…” more tears as she stopped speaking for a while.
“I don’t know if it is I kill he, but I know I give him poison. I give him weed less poison to drink. I don’t know if it is I kill he but I know to myself I do it. And it is just hurting me. This is the first time I did something like this. I couldn’t take it anymore. I had to. I don’t know, I don’t know.
“He beat me up twice, lash me with cutlass. He always sharpening he cutlass and he say he guh kill me, I don’t know,” she held her face again.
“I couldn’t take it anymore. I couldn’t take it anymore. I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t know what to do, I didn’t had anyone to talk to” she said, weeping.
“I didn’t know what to do. I am 23 going on 24 so I didn’t know what to do. I tell his daughter the first time…she go back and tell he everything, you know she didn’t believe. She go back and tell he everything.
“I don’t know, I did love this man so much seriously. I didn’t love he fuh no money because we use to barely make it. We ain’t get no big set a money, we use to barely make it . So I didn’t love he for any money or property or anything like that, you know, we renting. I didn’t love he for anything like that I did just love he you know. I didn’t know, I didn’t expect all this woulda happen I didn’t know.
“He son cuss he and tell he he is paedophile, I didn’t know wah was paedophile but when I get to find out paedophile is big man who molesting lil children. He brother tell he about it; he friend cuss and tell he about it… I didn’t know.
“But all I want to say is that I am very sorry. I am very sorry. If you hearing me or whatsoever I am very sorry. Father in heaven,” she looks up “If I have to pay for my sin just show some way, I would pay for it. I am very sorry I didn’t know what to do. I am so sorry, very sorry, I am very sorry, I give my heart to you now Christ I give my heart to you.
I don’t know what to do but [name of the man] I love you so much, but I couldn’t put love for you in front my child because one day you would push your finger in,” she held up one of her fingers as she said those words.
“In fact you woulda … damage she so I had to do something. Oh all me head hurting me,” she said holding her head.
“Anyway that is my confession, I don’t know who I would send this video to but I need to talk to someone. It killing me. It killing me,” as the video ended.
Throughout the video, a religious song played in the background. In the comments, many women applauded her for taking action, while others condemned her for waiting so long while her little girl was being abused.
Apart from the shocking revelation of the alleged murder and the fact that she knew her daughter was being abused but did nothing for a while, it is also obvious that this sister believed her child would only be damaged if she was sexually penetrated. She did not comprehend the damage done to her child by the sexual abuse.
According to the adopted definition formulated by the 1999 World Health Organization (WHO) Consultation on Child Abuse Prevention, “Child sexual abuse is the involvement of a child in sexual activity that he or she does not fully comprehend, is unable to give informed consent to, or for which the child is not developmentally prepared and cannot give consent, or that violates the laws or social taboos of society. Child sexual abuse is evidenced by this activity between a child and an adult or another child who by age or development is in a relationship of responsibility, trust or power, the activity being intended to gratify or satisfy the needs of the other person.”
It is also stated that the sexual abuse of children is a unique phenomenon; the dynamics are often very different to that of adult sexual abuse and therefore abuse of this nature cannot be handled in the same way.
Features that characterise child sexual abuse include:
● Physical force/violence is very rarely used; rather the perpetrator tries to manipulate the child’s trust and hide the abuse.
● The perpetrator is typically a known and trusted caregiver.
● Child sexual abuse often occurs over many weeks or even years.
● The sexual abuse of children frequently occurs as repeated episodes that become more invasive with time. Perpetrators usually engage the child in a gradual process of sexualizing the relationship over time (ie grooming).
● Incest
It is unclear whether this woman did commit murder, but if so, unfortunately, she will have to face the consequences. More importantly, her little girl needs urgent help because while she may not know it, untold damage has already been done to the child. I can hope that the child receives the assistance she urgently needs which from all indications her mother cannot provide.
