Dear Editor,
While the specific statistics are unavailable, it is well known that there are many single parent households across Guyana, the majority of which are headed by women. This is an unfortunate reality as it has been proven that children grow up to be happier and better adjusted when they are able to have both parents within their lives. This is why it is important that parents seek out opportunities to build healthy co-parenting relationships regardless of the status of their own relationship with each other. Of course, this does not necessarily apply to those relationships that ended due to factors of abuse.
In collaboratively setting rules and guidelines with regards to children’s schedules, behaviours and their discipline, both parents would be able to participate more in their children’s lives without one having to miss out on their development. This would also help to balance the responsibility of parenthood, reducing parental stress that can negatively impact children.
The impact of adult behaviours on children is often not considered as children are expected to be resilient and bounce back from any trauma they witness or which is inflicted upon them. Trauma buried however, is merely manifested in other ways. Hence it is important that safe environments are maintained. While there are bound to be tensions in adult relationships, children must not be exposed to these conflicts as it can significantly hamper their ability to learn healthy conflict resolution strategies.
Being able to see both of their parents respecting each other and centring their wellbeing can result in children having higher self-esteem and can also significantly shape their responses to relationships with their parents and future partners. Children who do not have the benefit of healthy co-parenting relationships can often struggle with issues of identity, relationships and are more likely to develop mental health concerns and go down paths of deviancy. This lack can also make them more vulnerable to sexual predators.
Children deserve stable environments in which they can learn, grow and have fun. Parents should learn to put aside their difference, or at the very least, keep these out of the knowledge of children and focus their efforts on ensuring that they provide positive models of what adult relationships should look like. In creating a healthy and supportive co-parenting relationship, you will be able to build a solid foundation for children to develop into the best version of themselves.
Yours faithfully,
Akola Thompson
Blue Umbrella Consultant,
ChildLinK
To report or seek counseling, please
call 914/227-0979/227-2023/233-3500
