Death will always appear to be untimely for anyone who has lost someone no matter how predictable it seemed. It is a reality of life that we will never get used to, no matter how many times we have faced or dealt with loss.
Many of us tend to reason with ourselves as we experience loss, it is a natural coping strategy. We become desperate for answers, often looking for connections with our environment and those in it while submerged in grief. Loss is loss but when it is a result of suicide, it tend to feel — to those left behind, that is — as though they have failed personally.
Suicide, which is often categorised as a selfish act, is actually not one but rather the final breaking point one reaches when the pressure peaks. It is an unbearable place to be where one thinks that only their permanent removal can bring peace to their plight. Still, it stings. People cannot help but feel like failures when they are faced with such an unthinkable loss.
Many people miss the red flags often because they are either trying to compare it with or measure it against their own personal strength and struggles. Some are too overwhelmed with their own struggles to even notice or are too ill-informed to point those in need towards supportive resources.
However, it is sometimes the case that even with support, suicide can still feel like the only option because those affected find it hard to escape the environs that result in their pain. whether it be a toxic work environment, an abusive partner, or financial strain to name a few.
Fear of judgement is also another reason many tend to bottle up frustrations, particularly in societies like ours and even more so now with the advent of social media. The projection of a perfect life or curated happiness can make people feel as if they are essentially the only ones facing the fire.
Comparison is indeed the thief of joy. Sure, there are clues one can pick up on to help render assistance, but many times over people have constructed their façades to carry on for as long as they can.
While many of us may be well intentioned with our concern or might even express frustration as to why someone else cannot just pull themselves out of a situation, nothing will ever be more suitable than directing them towards qualified healthcare professionals and showing encouragement. We are not all equipped with tools to help us calm our fires and that is okay. But we should rest assured that there is always help available, even when we are unable to deliver it ourselves.
For anyone struggling mentally or know of someone who is at the moment, the Ministry of Health has three Safe Space Hotline numbers: 592-655-7233, 592-624-0238 or 592-624-0643.
