For the month of November this year, 180 sex abuse lawsuits were filed against the Roman Catholic Church of New Jersey, USA as the December 1 deadline for the state’s suspension of the civil statute of limitations for such suits loomed. Those filings brought the total number of civil sex abuse complaints filed in New Jersey to 820, against 250 clerics. Though many of the cases date back to decades ago, one in seven of the lawsuits involve crimes perpetrated against children who were seven years old and younger at the time; many of them boys.
Sadly, the Roman Catholic Church is only one of many known organisations and institutions around the world (another is the Boys Scouts of America), both religious and secular, in which the sexual abuse of children is an epidemic that has hitherto enjoyed a long season of secrecy; these do not include the lurking individual predators who may or may not be known to the children they abuse, some of whom are boys. A study conducted in 2004 by John Jay College in the US found that 81% of clergy-perpetrated sexual abuse involved boys and that 40% of all victims were aged 11 to 14 years old.
The truth is that sexual abuse of boys is more common than it appears to be. Part of the reason for this is the gender biases around which children are raised, where roles for boys and girls are clearly mapped out in some cases while they are still in the womb. The stereotyping of boys as tough and fearless has meant that their sexual abuse is very often unreported and therefore goes untreated, sometimes even when they are physically damaged. The mental and emotional harm stays with them forever, often appearing as a level of trauma that leads them to hurt others.
A recent study in Guyana, commissioned by ChildLink and conducted by Dr Paulette Henry found that among other things, the shame and blame affixed to sexual abuse contribute to non-reporting by boys. This study, ‘Caring for Boys: Social Norm Drivers of Sexual Abuse of Boys in Guyana’, also confirmed that there is a widely-held misconception that only girls need protecting from paedophiles. Thus, in many cases, boys are left to their own devices in their communities where they are susceptible to being groomed, cajoled, threatened and bullied into sexual abuse. Many parents have conversations with their daughters surrounding safety that they would never dream of having with their sons as they somehow do not consider it necessary.
Of the 25 sexually abused boys interviewed for the research, Dr Henry was only able to speak to one father. While she had access to one other father, he did not make himself available citing work commitments, and an unwillingness to discuss the issue or have his son relive the experience. This father’s naivety in assuming that his son was not already constantly doing so and clearly keeping the resulting turmoil suppressed is unfortunate. According to psychologists, boys who survive sexual violence can experience serious psychological and emotional fallout, including post-traumatic stress, symptoms of depression and anxiety, suicidal thoughts, substance abuse problems and sexual dysfunction as adults.
Parents, fathers in particular, can become consumed with guilt and hurt when their sons are sexually abused. Their belief that it was all their fault, or that their sons somehow invited the abuse often stems from a lack of knowledge about predatory behaviours. In their attempts to hide their own pain, these parents choose not to speak about the abuse and in so doing fail to give their children the constant reassurance they need that they did nothing wrong and that they are loved no matter what. This only adds to the child’s trauma.
Though ‘Caring for Boys’ referred to a lack of supervision as among the reasons boys are sexually abused, this is sometimes not the case. There have been and still are many instances where parents leave children, boys especially, in the hands of coaches or teachers, who are assumed to be responsible, but are in fact predatory.
As a case in point, consider the Southampton and Peterborough Football Clubs in England where a coach, Bob Higgins, sexually abused scores of schoolboys between 1971 and 1996. He was jailed for 24 years in 2019, after being charged and convicted for the abuse of 24 players, though according to reports the number of his victims was actually higher. And according to a report by children’s charity Bernardo, published by the Guardian newspaper, at least nine other football coaches in the UK have been similarly convicted, the latest being in May this year.
On this side of the pond, for decades, there have been whispers about the rampant sexual predation of youngsters by a former local sports coach. However, to date, none of the alleged victims has ever made a public accusation. The shame and blame mentioned above, along with the culture of secrecy which cloaks this society make it highly unlikely that this will ever occur. Meanwhile, there have also been murmurs about priests and other religious leaders here.
Remaining silent in the mistaken belief that calling out sexual predators will somehow make boys appear less than masculine, points to a failure to consider that it is secrecy which in fact harms them. Furthermore, it also aids those who prey on boys, on children in general. Lack of exposure makes it easy for them to move on to other victims.
Social scientists now believe that for true gender equity to be achieved, empowerment for boys, which will look different to that extended to girls, has to be on the agenda. In this country, for starters, we can move towards making a space for boys to report sexual abuse and ask for help without stigmatising them, questioning their sexuality or dismissing them. The change will not take place overnight, but it is important to begin now if we value posterity.
