In the most Rihanna way possible, sis made it known a few days ago that she was pregnant; she posed in an oversized pink Chanel jacket, which was left tastefully open to reveal her bump, and paired with baggy jeans, draped in jewels including an encrusted cross. The pictures went viral and some of my friends jokingly said the day should be declared a national holiday.
Pregnancies and new life bring a special type of joy, whether or not we know the person personally. In Rihanna’s case many of us grew up with her, fed off and still feed off the cultural capital she injected whether through her style, entrepreneurship, or music.
Rihanna showing off her bump in winter in clothing which mirrored her pre-pregnancy life was a full 360 degrees change from what we are usually accustomed to from moms-to-be, which usually tends to be more along the lines of careful elegance. Pregnancy shots feature tummy hugging dresses with huge trains that dance in the air in photo studios or open-air locations, flower crowns, tulle gowns and anything that feeds into the ‘I am embarking on a fairy tale’ vibe.
I could imagine a lot of thought goes into making the announcements for anyone. The planning, the execution and even hesitation on whether or not it should be made public still linger for many. I go back and forth with the pros and cons of sharing the news on social media if I am ever with child.
Pros
Shared joy
You will be indefinitely met with overwhelming support and well wishes. Pregnancies and babies have a way of reconnecting people. I have seen so many people restore family bonds and friendships rekindled after announcements. Added joy for your happiness will do wonders for spirit especially if it’s a first pregnancy and the nerves seem to be getting the best of you and who knows perhaps former connections may be restored with new energy.
Shared knowledge
You will get access into a new world whether or not it was your intention, after making the announcement. I don’t have kids and I sometimes feel as if I am getting slowly pulled into the club. I have learnt that people like sharing their experiences. Experience stories may come in handy for all the stages especially if you are a new parent. I personally like to listen to my friends carry on about how their marriages evolved after pregnancy and how they deal with the changing dynamics because this is what I worry about the most.
Cons
Negativity
There will always be people out there whose parenthood journey is completely different to your own and while their comments may be factual to a point sometimes the negative experiences can be projected onto you. Comments like enjoy your sleep now and your life is over aren’t exactly helpful. Sure, a baby changes everything differently for everyone but it doesn’t necessarily mean your life becomes less than exciting and tiresome. Be prepared for this and try to understand where it’s coming from.
Informal
A lot of people consider social media to be juvenile, particularly older folk. Some might take offence to finding out the news online as opposed to a telephone call and may in turn question the meaningfulness of the relationship.
Deviation from culture
There are so many protocols I grew up hearing as it relates to the dos and don’ts for pregnancies. Like you should always dress up or you shouldn’t tell everyone in order to keep clear of ‘bad eye’. How and when you share your news will always be met with ridicule if you oppose traditional norms There will be steady policing and sometimes comparisons to how you do things which may not serve you well during this delicate time.
There is no right or wrong way as to how you should approach sharing the news. While comments may come before and after the baby arrives, the most important thing is remembering it doesn’t define your journey and there is no grading system to determine how well you did; it is really all up to you.
