“I ain’t know dey say I is a senior citizen but I sure nuff a dem young boys does break long before me,” the sleazy words of a man reached my ear.
I quickly looked up and there was a man, maybe in his sixties, standing addressing a young male bank teller who burst out laughing at what I assumed was a joke he just told.
“Yes. I telling you boy, that is thing but if they say I is a senior then I is a senior,” he continued, the young teller was still laughing.
If he had stopped there, I would not be writing about him here even though I felt a bit uncomfortable. I would have let it slide.
“She is a good-looking girl you know. Look at she. If I could just get me hands on she I don’t know what would happen,” he said next.
Even though his words were not directed at me my skin crawled. I could not see who he was speaking to, but I heard the male teller laugh again. Encouraged maybe by the laughter, the man continued: “Look tell you boyfriend if he don’t treat you right it get a older man waiting to treat you better and I could take better care of you.”
It was not just what he said but there was something about the how that made me cringe. And it was not just me, two other women in the queue were disturbed by what he was saying.
“Why is he behaving like that? It is terrible how he harassing the staff in that manner,” one commented to the other almost under her breath.
“Well eh eh, but look at he and troubling people girl children,” the other replied.
Up to that point I could not see who the man was addressing.
“I telling you boy, she nice bad,” the man continued and by this time I was so angry I could not discern what else he was saying.
“Bye, bye now,” he said, waving with his fingers. “Remember what I say. If you boyfriend give you problem, I could take good care of you. I could take care of all your needs,” he said before walking away, his fattened chest up in the air as if he had just won a great prize.
I moved to the same window to see a young woman, not more than 20 years old. I would even say she was about 18, sitting next to the male teller; she was understudying him.
Her eyes were downcast and even behind her mask I observed how uncomfortable she was. I told the young man that he should have represented his colleague instead of laughing at the man’s crude comments.
“I did, you know,” he replied. “At first, you know, he was a little funny, some customers would make one and two jokes, but he was going overboard.”
I did not hear him try to stop the customer’s lewd remarks, but maybe he did.
I told the young woman that she should not allow anyone to address her in that manner. She did not respond, and I believed she was close to tears. I transacted my business and left the bank, still fuming.
People are of the opinion that sexual harassment constitutes touching, but it involves unwelcome and inappropriate sexual remarks or physical advances.
I thought about all the women, old and young, who endure similar scenarios on a daily basis. Some are much cruder; walking down the road one could hear any manner of things being uttered by men. But I was really distressed that this young woman was subjected to it at work.
It should not happen. It is wrong. And coming from an older man, for me, made it worse. I wondered if that man has children and grandchildren and if he would want someone to be basically verbally harassing them at their job. If I was close to him, I may have said something, but I am happy that I didn’t as I was not keen on an early morning verbal confrontation, which could have perhaps ballooned into full-scale crude abuse, on his part that is.
Time and time again women recount how they are harassed on the road and in other public spaces.
“University of Guyana (had a guy on a motorcycle follow me at night from all the way… by Bursary to the parking lot shining a light on my ass and commenting on the things he’d do if he had access to my ass), had cases of walking on the road and had guys following me for almost my entire journey. Had one instance where I had to step into Republic Bank on New Market Street and wait a while cuz a guy started getting aggressive cuz I wasn’t responding to his questions and started pulling on my hands and putting his hands in my face. Too many to mention.”
That was a comment by a Facebook friend of poet Renata Burnette detailing instances where she was sexually harassed in public.
In 2021 the poet, radio host and activist updated her status asking her friends to state the places where they are afraid to go because they were sexually harassed.
The responses were profound yet shocking, even to me and others who experienced their fair share of sexual harassment in public because I don’t think at times we understand that the same thing is happening to our sisters.
I understand why some people do not use public transportation or have their daughters walk alone on the streets because some men are like vultures, seeking to strip young girls of their dignity and at times even violating them by touching them. Many of the responses to Burnette’s Facebook post spoke about touching.
I believe it is time we women start reporting these men, especially when touching is involved. But I have also seen how cruel the court system can be and there are times when victims leave feeling as if they are the perpetrators without receiving any justice.
Burnette’s 2021 status (which has been addressed in this column already) had read: “Comment the name of the place/street/village that you’re afraid to go cause the last time you got sexually harassed. Den #rapeculture a wan see something.”
I am sure even though she wanted to ‘see something’ she was not prepared for the over 100 comments from young girls and older women detailing their horrid experiences with men on the street.
Here is chilling account: “Kitty men literally walk behind me and recite their numbers. Not only that when some say good morning and I don’t reply they catch attitudes and call me rude when I do give them a smart ass comment they wanna come up to my face as if me verbally defending myself is wrong and gives them the right to say whatever else they wanna. One even tried to hit me because I asked him if he told his mother good morning as yet.”
Over the years, I have had countless experiences on the streets and even in offices. Now that I am older, I would hear from young men: ‘You is a nice big woman’ followed by all the things they wanted to do to this ‘big woman’.
The streets, and as a I witnessed earlier the workplace, are a danger zone for women who not only have to be afraid of being robbed but will more likely than not face sexual harassment sometimes on a daily basis.
In 2015, the Witness Project had launched a huge project here aimed bringing awareness to street harassment through art. Street harassment as well as sexual harassment overall are things that still need serious addressing and there should be legislative intervention to stop men from objectifying and violating women on the streets.
I believe as far as possible we as sisters need to stand up for each other, I know this might result in us being targeted, but too many times men are allowed to get away with their lewd behaviour because they are not challenged. It is time that as sisters we stand against this sort of behaviour as much as we can. It may not always work but we might succeed in assisting one sister at a time.
