Dear Editor,
At the President’s recent press conference, it occurred to me that the folks from “Laff Till You Belly Bust,” the “Link Show,” or “Nothing to Laugh About,” are missing out on a lot of good comedic material. Why can’t they do an equivalent of “Saturday Night Live” in Guyana. There is so much material in the political arena from trench crappo, jagabats, wild hog, Civil Society are the “Usual Suspects” and should not critique the Government, you cannot speak out about anything unless you had spoken out about rigged elections, to Minister Dildo. Now the President announced that plans are in place for a meeting with marijuana farmers in a bid to persuade them to switch to cultivating high-value hemp. And this will address the problem of the “Dutch disease.” Did the President come up with that idea all by himself? Did he check with the AG, the Minister of Home Affairs, the Commissioner of Police, and the Minister of Agriculture?
The Prez said, “…I am a realistic president. I ain’t shooting in the dark. I ain’t naïve. Is only if you dealing with reality you can run a country. They already have the experience in growing…they come with technical skills, frankly speaking,” he added.
Now, all you people from Africa, from Europe, from North America, South America and Asia, and CARICOM, don’t you all go stealing our President’s ideas. We thought of it first! Made in Guyana! Local content at work!
As a Civil Society member and Diasporan, and as a contribution to my country, I would like to pay for the full-page ad in the KN and SN inviting the marijuana growers to come to the meeting with the President. But first, let’s answer these questions. 1. Does the Government know who are the marijuana growers? 2. Is there a list? 3. Does the Government have the street address, email address and WhatsApp numbers for these marijuana growers? 4. How will they know whom to invite to this meeting? 5. How does the Government side know that the growers “come with technical skills?” 6. There was nothing in the PPP manifesto that said anything about marijuana growers becoming hemp growers. Is this a bonus to the Manifesto? The icing on the cake? 7. If the Government knows who are the marijuana growers, why aren’t they all in jail serving time? 8. If they are already in jail, would they be released to attend this meeting with the Prez?
(There is simply too much marijuana and cocaine moving though the country, destroying our social fabric, our youths, our high schools, and fueling crime).
So I imagine the ad would say something like this: “Dear Marijuana Grower, please attend a meeting at the Office of the President on (date and time provided). As you know marijuana is illegal now but we are getting ready to change the law to remove custodial sentences for small amounts. Promise made, promise kept! We are not like that sanctimonious gangster! At this meeting, we will discuss how you may switch from being a marijuana grower to a hemp grower. Our AG is working on a hemp bill now, never mind there are no bills for constitutional reform, or other urgent areas needing reform. You can make more money from hemp than from marijuana. As you know, we don’t want marijuana competing with hemp. We are “One Guyana, One Love.” Don’t you worry, we would not listen to what civil society says about this new hemp idea. They are the “usual suspects” so we will ignore them and use our new “whackamole” policy on them. Please do attend. This is not a trick. We know you have “the technical skills to do hemp, the way you do marijuana.” You get better yields on crops that all the Ministry of Agriculture people put together. Who knows, one of you could be our next Commissioner of Police, as you commit crimes and don’t get caught. That’s good technical skills that our Police can use. PS: We will not be taking any tithes on your hemp income. Don’t be late for the meeting!”
Only in Guyana do we save the sugar industry by taking away the packaging plant that was supposed to be the lynchpin for recovery. Would any of the Enmore lands be used for hemp? Why is the Government refusing to disclose the details of this deal? This is the people’s assets. Nobody is against more jobs being created. Tell the nation what the deal is all about. This is a national asset. What we need is an investigative report on how many businesses granted state assets created the number of jobs they said they would create. KN, SN can you do a study?
Sincerely,
(Name and address supplied)
