“It is really heartbreaking. Sometimes you are feeling that you are the only one facing this and the court is being unfair and you are being treated terribly but there are so many other women who are going through the same thing. At first I thought I was the only one facing this because I don’t see anyone else complaining. But people are just frustrated with the system and sometimes just leave it and try to raise their children.”
These are the words of a mother who has been attempting for years to get the father of her eldest child to financially contribute to the welfare of their son. She thought she did the right thing by following the lawful procedure but this has proven to be futile as not only does the man not pay the money awarded by the court, there seems to be no penalty for this failure.
Frustrated, the mother of three decided to share her experience on Facebook. She said she has been surprised by the many messages she has received from women who have been going through the same thing.
This week starts what will be a three-part series chronicling the experiences of women who have faced difficulties as they attempt to hold the fathers of their children accountable through the court system. They believe the broken court system allows the men to shy away from their responsibilities. They also decry the treatment they receive from the staff at the various courts as they attempt to access the money. Police officers are not helpful either when the mothers seek help to hold the men accountable.
Below is the verbatim post made by the mother on Facebook:
“Today I will share my experience at the Maintenance Court, Guyana Court of Justice. I’m not sure how far my message will meet but I will share for all the women in Guyana who had similar experiences but are voiceless since their efforts to fix these challenges, all go in vain.
“My eldest son will be 12 this year. When he was around 3, I was encouraged to take his father to court for what we call ‘child support’ since you know as mothers, it’s hard on us to raise kids on our own. That was 9 years ago, I asked for around $20,000 per month, but the father of my son brought a FEMALE lawyer who claimed that 20k is too much and the court granted him the charges of $12,000 a month. Well I couldn’t do anything because I had no lawyer and I wasn’t allow[ed] to speak.
“Since then, this man will take months or YEARS before he makes a payment. And mind you, it’s never the amount due. And every time I decide to check (like 6 months after) it’s never any money there so I might have to find a way to contact him.
“Now that’s not all, every time I tried to seek the court’s help to get him to pay…this is the procedure…
-full out a liability form
-return the next week for the summons
– go to their nearest police station,
-provide transportation for the police,
– have the police issue the summons to the father wherever we find him
– attend court on the court date.
-wait for him to make the payment
-go back to the court for it
-go to the bank and change the cheque.
-and don’t forget, IF YOU DO NOT WALK WITH THE $12 REVENUE STAMPS, THE COURT WILL NOT GIVE YOU YOUR MONEY. So you will have to find yourself to a post office and buy some stamps
“Now, tell me, which woman in their righted mind will do this every month or couple of months for $12,000?
“That’s not all, the last time I’ve been there, I saw that the father owed over 200k and that’s because he didn’t make payments and because I was too busy working all day, do chores all weekend, provided all my son needs, ensuring he had a good birthday party, disciplining him when he goes wrong, guiding him to be a better man, and do every other side hustle so my son can succeed and have everything he needs for a brighter future.
“I’m not finished, the last time I was there, I stood at the counter for about 3 minutes, the clerk watched me in my face and turn her face back to her desk and continued to do what she was doing. Then, she got up and walked over to me and said “you getting through mam?” 😖 like really? Was she expecting me to jump over the counter and help myself?
“Anyways, I told her I would like to apply for a raise of payments because $12000 can never take care of a child. You know… this clerk closed the file and said ‘you can’t apply for raise of pay until the father pay out all the money he owes.’
“Well so see? She expects me to go through all the donkey steps and xyz. So I left and moved on like I usually do because I’ve done this all in secret since the MAN who takes care of us, the father of my other 2 kids [has] ensured that my eldest shorts absolutely NOTHING.
“So the court
-does not help mothers find these men
-holds back at $12000 because of a $12 stamp
-does not hold men accountable for no payments.
“I feel it for the women out there who depend on child support, I feel it for the women who travel miles away to get turn back because of a stamp. I feel it for the mothers who waited for hours for a cheque and get turn back at the Bank because the court spelled their names incorrectly or wasn’t clear in their penmanship. I feel it for the kids who depend on their jobless mothers who depend on a neglecting father!
“Who is going to help us? The court?”
I contacted the mother following her post and she once again detailed her frustration with the system.
“I always ask myself why do I go through this because I find myself going to one police station after another and to hear they don’t have transportation and you have to pay the taxi fee,” she told me.
“It was very interesting, I just left it like it was. He made a payment of $30,000 in 2019 and there is no money there, the only time I get it is if I ask for a liability summons or I have to make contact with him,” she continued.
Since she made the post, she said, she received calls from two court employees who offered to assist her in getting the outstanding money.
“But I told them that the purpose is not to help me, but to help everyone that is going through this. And you trying to help me to get the money will not fix the problem, because the entire system is broken,” she pointed out.
“The whole system needs revising. Why should mothers have to be running after these men? It is not because we don’t work but we both make the child and we both should play a part,” she added.
‘Looked at my son’
I asked the sister what prompted her to make the post.
“To be quite honest, I sat there on Saturday morning, I looked at my son doing his school work and he had all his text books and I said my son is so big and he is studying for Grade Six. When I looked at him, I saw his father because he looks just like him and I remember that this guy don’t even try to help us out and if he even know how well his son is doing in school. My son’s birthday passed Christmas and he has not even called,” she answered.
“I said, you know what, I think people need to know the struggles we go through,” she said.
“I do hope something is done. I remember one time I reached just before lunch. Fill out the form and then it was after lunch and they telling me come back tomorrow because the person who has to sign the cheque has left. I come back tomorrow, paying almost $10,000 in passage for $12,000,” she added.
“And it is more than one time, about two to three times I get turned back from the bank because the number or the name was not written properly or the penmanship was just poor. Then you have to go back to the court to let them fix it, you have to wait for the cheque to go through the process to get it signed again. And they would not even offer an apology. They just upset that you have to go back to them, she shared.
“They are the workers, they are seeing that these men did not make payment in five to six years, they are not addressing it. The system is really poor. Everybody gets up and talk about breaking the bias on International Women’s Day and we have women doing two or three jobs just to support their children and the system treating them like crap,” she continued.
The woman said she is thankful that her husband takes care of her son, but she feels for the other women who need the support from their children’s father to survive.
She also said the court is unfair in awarding child support.
“Here is why I say the court is unfair. He was working for $200,000 at the time and I was studying so I was not really earning. I asked for $20,000 and this guy brought a female lawyer which really surprised me and she argued that he cannot afford to pay more than $3000 a week. The court is a bit biased, as long as you have a lawyer they favour you. I did not have a lawyer and I was not allowed to speak, the whole situation was very depressing and they awarded $12,000 a month,” she explained.
“This system really failing us. It is not a PPP/C or APNU thing, it is a broken system that has been this way for years and it needs fixing,” the woman stressed.
“But the buck stops with the government and I am pleading with the government to fix it for the mothers. Have the money go into the bank account, this is digital time. Why paper and pen all the time? If the man does not make payment for three months send out a warrant for them instead of the mothers having to do it. The police is never willing to assist you, you go there and like they are so upset to do their work,” she added.
Since making the post she said she received countless messages.
“I got a lot of messages. I reposted some but I couldn’t do all because I am busy too. I got over 400 persons sharing the post. I was really surprised because to be quite honest I didn’t expect it to go so far. It is just depressing. If men could just work and take care of their children. No matter how hard I work, when the child reaches of age they would say it is my son or my daughter. My son is really brilliant and he is the splitting image of his father,” she said.
The frustration with the court came from mothers who have gone to courts in Georgetown, Vigilance, Providence, Essequibo and Berbice which indicate that the problem is endemic.
“My son don’t really ask for him. He don’t ask because he probably saw him about five years ago. About two years ago he called and said he had an accident and he asked me to forgive him and that he would start supporting our son. A short time after he was out and going about his business partying and so on. He paid no money and never even attempted to see his son,” she shared.
Next week I will share the experience of another sister. If you have experienced the system and want to share your story you can contact me through samantha_alleyne2000@yahoo.com.
