“The first time she run away it was like my whole heart did get cut out. I wouldn’t even say run away; I would say missing. I went to work and when I come home she not there and no clothes didn’t really missing, but she just gone.
“I look fuh this girl everywhere. Dem time duh cell phone was not a big thing, so I had to go and walk by all she friends and suh looking fuh this child and all de time is suh like me heart beating and stop and I want to know how I guh live.”
The words of a mother whose daughter has left home sometimes for days at a time, without her knowing where she was. With the advent of COVID-19, from reports, it appeared that the number of missing girls doubled. Sometimes they are found days later and in the most recent case the child was taken into protective care after she alleged abuse at home. Children don’t just up and leave their homes. There is usually an underlying issue and in many cases sexual and/or physical abuse are the prime reasons.
I asked this sister about the reason behind her daughter leaving home on multiple occasions.
“I really can’t put me finger on why. It could be a lot of things. She didn’t satisfy with what we had home. We was poor and it was two a dem and yes I work very hard, but I couldn’t give she all the things that she friends at school had,” she said.
“Nuff days I would leave home before daylight and I would come home after dark. Yes, I would cook and leave things fuh them go to school, both a dem was teenager. And I would leave work fuh dey do when dey come home back in de afternoon. We had a TV and so but is like it was not enough fuh she.
“I was not really a beating person. Yes, I use to give them two lash and so but most time is me mouth use to be going around quarrelling and begging them to tek in the lil education. I use to tell them if they want a better life they have to tek the lil education so they could become somebody in life, but it was like throwing water pun duck back.”
She returned to the first time her daughter went missing.
“The day I went home and she sister tell me that she come home, change she clothes and then just gone out. So, I waiting on this girl to come home, it get late and this girl still ain’t come home. My heart was like it cut out and is like I feel like I fainting and all them things,” she related.
“I went by all she friends and then is I hear another of she friends missing and is me and this girl mother walking all over, looking for these children. I go home the night I tired, me eyes closing but I still can’t sleep. The next day I can’t go to work and is just me and this girl mother looking for these children.
“We report the matter to the police, and they was helping we to look. Is not ’til the next day this girl come home. When I ask she where she went she tell me by a friend and how she get frighten when de place get dark and know I woulda beat she, so she didn’t want come home. To tell you the truth I didn’t even beat the child. I was just like crying and asking she why she doing things like that.
“You know, is long after I get to find out that these two girls was in a house right in the area and was peeping we, yes we the mothers, peeping we when we passing. Is boy dem went with. That was it.
“From then on is like every month she missing for a day or two and is like I just start waiting for she to come back home. Me heart stop hurting so much, and I used to just pray and hope that she alright. Sometimes as soon as I leave de house she sister would call me and tell me how she gone again, that was just how it was. Back and forth like that I try to get she counselling and so on but like this girl was juts bent on doing what she want.
“Next thing she tell me she don’t want to go to school and I give up. Like I didn’t have no more strength in me body to fight. I know people would say I was a bad mother or that I is a bad mother and you know I don’t know what to say to that. Because to be honest all I can say is I do me best,” she said, going silent for a moment.
“If you ask me if I was ready to be a mother when I get she and me other children, yes I had two other children, but they was boys and they didn’t use to live with me. But I wasn’t ready to have children, I was still a lil girl. But how life had it I get pregnant, marry, divorce and that was life. I try me best, but I guess me best wasn’t enough. I didn’t know at first how to be a mother, but I always want better fuh me children. I didn’t want them to have a life like me,” she continued.
I asked her if she succeeded.
“You know they all have children and so now and to be honest at least they providing better for them, more than I could fuh them. The one who use to run away, well eventually when she meet of age she just move out and cut all ties with me for a while. I didn’t even know where she was living and that break me heart. I find out where she was working and go a time and the girl didn’t even want see me,” she recounted.
“But today we back together. She is me daughter. We don’t live together; well none of them living with me. But I does see them, and we have a relationship. I just sorry I couldn’t do more fuh them so that they didn’t have children so early. It can’t be easy. Having children at a early age is never a good thing. But what I could say, they have them children and they seem to be going good; the children in school so I glad.
“I would tell anyone, if they could, avoid it. For me, is like I was push to get marry. Me mother sign for me, and then of course children come. But if you could avoid it don’t make children young. Children is not playthings. Is not dolly house you playing. And if you can’t take care of you properly, how you guh take care of a child?” the sister asked rhetorically.
The sister is making a good point about waiting and ensuring you are ready before you become a mother. Even then, it is not easy but at least being of a mature age would be an asset. The most we can do is be vigilant for the children who are being abused across our land and support the authorities to protect them. Our children are hurting, and not just children from poor communities.
Citizen have to do what they could to help. Too many of our children, especially young girls, are fleeing from their homes for some reason.
