Big weddings aren’t my cup of tea, but the truth is I adore the excitement and love seeing the ‘chaotic happiness’ that derives from them for other people. Planning for any momentous occasion gives me anxiety. My tiny wedding which had just about three guests saw me leaving it up to the wedding planner to decide on the flowers. To see people plan to a “t” will always leave me awe.
Perhaps it was my lack of proximity to weddings growing up, but I still don’t have calm nerves on the do’s and don’ts. I think in my lifetime I attended less than four weddings. For the entire period my husband and I have been married (approximately 7 years) we have never attended a wedding separately or together.
The trend to have grand weddings seemed to have died down a little due to COVID. Seeing them pop up once again could feel a tad over the top. The standard bachelorette party, wedding shower and rehearsal can seem too much like a burden (both financially and physically ) for members of the wedding party.
If this year you have found yourself an official part of the wedding party, here are my thoughts on some reasonable do’s and don’ts.
Miss Friendly
Large wedding parties look great in the photos and I suppose it’s nice to appear as if you are a social butterfly but large wedding parties means multiple personalities and budgets to accommodate. For the bride, choose your friends and family that show up for you authentically . There is no need to include your best friend from primary school who you just follow on Instagram and exchange likes and comments with. You can have a large wedding party but ensure you know your crew.
Number 1 Girl
Money aside the activities and desires of the bride should always come first. Unless you physically can’t participate in an activity due to health reasons try your best to suck it up. Whether it’s a hike or gluten-free preference try your best to accommodate the bride during her bachelorette celebrations. It’s about celebrating her not you. On that note, this is a gentle reminder to not wear white at the wedding too.
Be upfront
Weddings are expensive. Participating in them is even more expensive. Considering you have to buy your own dress and dress plus chip in for the bachelorette celebrations plus find a gift for the newlyweds, it completely understandable if you feel as if you are being stretched thin. Setting a budget is a good way to get started. Money sometimes makes people uncomfortable. I think it is important for the bride to be clear about her expectations from the inception and for those potentially being tasked with the duties to be upfront about whether or not they can afford to partake at the extent the bride desires. Communication is also key and while we live in a time where everything is done via text, dm or email, things like opting out and be done over the phone.
Social media etiquette
Everyone has a different relationship with social media and with what they want to be shared on which apps. What might seem funny or cute to you might not be for the other person. Agree on a set of guidelines you all follow before the fun starts, whether it’s reviewing things before they are posted, not tagging the other person or not posting at all, set ground rules for what is or isn’t okay.
