Social media is such an unbelievably powerful tool. It can really be used as a force for good when it helps to bring people together, brings instant awareness of varying social issues (even if it’s for a hot minute) or displays virtual solidarity. However, it can also be used for evil purposes as we have all seen time and again.
Sometimes it feels as if we are living in two worlds. One is carefully and strategically curated and another which doesn’t have the luxury of the delete and edit button. It is not difficult to understand then when chaos and tension arrive, people are quick to defend based on what they see.
Earlier this week, I learnt of allegations that a popular social media personality had reportedly drugged and raped a 20-year-old man who has since taken his life. According to reports, the man had confided in a family member. Shock and disbelief were what most people were overwhelmed with. It was almost as if they believed they were side by side with the accused to know his every intention and move. In all honesty, who can blame them? Social media gives us the chance to carefully curate our images, a chance for people to fall in love with ideal people; a generous person; a person who has defied the odds and has managed to help people along the way; a charismatic person who gets along with everyone. That is not to say that such people don’t exist, but what social media doesn’t show is the humanness or how complex relationships can get because no one wants to post the ugliness or at least not unless it is with a happy ending.
People commenting on the allegations said things like: ‘Why would he do such?’ ‘But look how many single mothers he helps out! People are only attacking good people because they jealous and bad mind!!’ ‘When you are rising in life the enemy is always out to tarnish you!’ There were questions about why the young victim didn’t visit the police station. We always seem to have the ideal victim profile on hand but never the sympathy and empathy for them.
What frightens me even more is the level of financial abuse people are seemingly comfortable with towards those who are vulnerable and the extent of poverty that manages to cloud our judgement even if we are completely out of the picture. Two things can be true at the same time. I remember when I lived in the UK and the news of allegations of sexual abuse by Jimmy Savile broke after his death. Savile had managed to raise some £40 million for charities during his lifetime. He was a DJ, television and radio host who also worked for the BBC. Following hundreds of allegations, police investigations found him to be a predatory sex offender. He had taken advantage of vulnerable children even when raising money. It was also after his death that the majority of allegations came flooding in, even though a few were made when he was alive.
Going against power, fame and charisma is tough for people who are seen as vulnerable. One can say this is particularly why abusers mostly target them, as they fully well know that they will be too intimidated to ever come forward.
This is why we must be wary of what we say as this itself can deter other victims from coming forward and make them feel isolated. We must learn to tap out of the idealistic world that social media pushes us to believe is 100 percent real and realise that no one really is filming and posting their life in its entirety, but rather the bits they are proud of and wish to highlight.
