Annalee Gonsalves. Nirmala Sukhai. Simone Hackett. Kescia Branche. Rosemary Rudder. Mariam Edwards. Waynumattie Permaul. Tacina Dazzell. Merlyn Singh. Vanessa Benjamin. Candy Rawlins. Tameshwarie Sonilal. Sattie Monika Beekharry. Monica Reece. Sharon Scott. Nariman Latifan. Sandrama Raju.
Perhaps some of these names sound familiar or are fresh in your memories because they have been blasted across news media platforms recently. Others may have already faded, because that is a natural coping mechanism to deal with the onslaught of violence meted out on Guyanese women everyday.
This list is just a small handful of Guyanese women who have had their lives ruthlessly snatched from them by a partner or someone they knew. Some were tossed into shallow graves, others were stabbed multiple times, burnt or had toxic chemicals thrown at them. In some cases there were restraining orders against the men concerned, and the women did all they could, yet social systems still failed them miserably. Some were forced into downplaying the abuse by the abuser’s family in order to shield the abuser, others were isolated from support networks and all undoubtedly observed our society’s high level of tolerance for violence in all its forms.
It has become a norm to be a bystander even when the evidence is glaring. It has been a norm for people to disqualify people’s abuse stories when they haven’t ended in death, as if the only true victims are the dead ones.
It has become a norm for people to cross-examine vulnerable victims and insist on them providing upfront video evidence. We have become so accepting of violence as part of our culture that we have created in our psyche the model victim: the one who doesn’t fight back; the one who just accepts abuse while simultaneously recording it.
When I saw that vile and horrendous video with Charrandass Persaurd cursing and insulting a woman in the most sexist way in India while representing Guyana as a foreign diplomat, followed by the Ministry of Foreign Affairs’s idiotic response, I thought of the women who live day in and day out with abuse. I thought of the women who feel hopeful when they see the wonderfully marketed ‘girl power initiatives’ only to finally realise that the actions hardly ever match the words. I thought of the women who are constantly gaslighted into thinking their experiences aren’t valid. I thought of how we as individuals classify abuse and how we arrive at the decision of what is or isn’t abuse.
I thought of all the women who don’t get to record their abuse when they are being mercilessly beaten. I thought of how our divisive politics allows for us to turn a blind eye when it’s convenient, further emboldening abusive men.
How must our women feel safe when our most senior officials play down incidents like Persaud’s at the very first chance they get? No wonder so many of our women are dying.
