By Oluatoyin Alleyne
Career nurse/midwife and educator Vanda Gomes has always been interested in keeping family units closely knitted and now that she has retired, she is doing what she can to ensure that fathers play an important role in the birthing process of their children.
Gomes is a Trinidadian who has worked in the nursing field all her life; whether it was in the hospital, in schools, as a nurse, as a midwife, or in the classroom as an educator. For years, she has been offering birthing classes that target pregnant mothers and their partners. Her classes also go beyond the birthing to after the baby is born and, on the other end of the spectrum, she teaches women and men about menopause.
For her, this is a contribution to maintaining a healthy family as men need to understand some of what women experience so they can assist them during the various stages.
The mother of two now has her classes on Zoom and while she has had a few clients outside of Trinidad she hopes to reach more Caribbean women as she believes their need for such information is great.
“My whole thing is to have better families and I think if both parents are involved and people know about caring for themselves before, during and after having a baby, we would have better families; we would have better lives. And if you see what is going on here in Trinidad – the crime level is over the top – I am trying to see what little I can do to help in any way that I can,” Gomes said in a recent interview.
Speaking to this newspaper virtually from her home in Trinidad, Gomes said she would love to have more clients from outside of Trinidad. She said she was somewhat apprehensive about hosting online classes after COVID came, but she has adapted and is more comfortable doing them online.
Gomes has been doing birthing classes since the late eighties. She trained as a nurse in Trinidad and then as a midwife in Glasgow, Scotland and spent a year in London training as a Montessori teacher, a skill she has never used. Montessori teaching is a method of education that is based on self-directed activity, hands-on learning and collaborative play. In Montessori classrooms children make creative choices in their learning, while the classroom and the highly trained teacher offer age-appropriate activities to guide the process.
When she returned to Trinidad, Gomes completed a diploma and then a master’s degree in education at the University of the West Indies.
“That is why I said I am a nurse and an educator. I also taught nurses for ten years in Trinidad and then at my last job that I retired from I worked as a school nurse at an international school in Trinidad,” she shared.
Birthing sessions
During the interview, Gomes explained that her birthing classes cover seven sessions. The first deals with labour and delivery during which the different types of deliveries are explained after a DVD is shown.
“I let them know what are some of the reasons a woman might end up with a Caesarean section or with forceps and they actually see the birthing process because the purpose of the programme is to prepare people in having their babies,” she explained.
She recalled when she first started the classes, which were physical prior to COVID-19, the men dropped off their wives and left. But now 99% of the partners join the classes because she does not focus on exercise only, but also on giving information. She noted as well that she is available to answer their questions at any time and she receives many WhatsApp messages.
When Gomes did her master’s degree in education she focused on fathers experiences in the birthing process and she interviewed men and found that they enjoyed receiving the information, sometimes more than the women.
One of the classes focusses on bathing babies and she found that after the birth many men took up this responsibility. Gomes said she has found that culturally in Trinidad (and it is often the case here in Guyana) in some families the grandmother bathes the babies and this will result in the mother not being able to bathe her child. There are times when mothers join the sessions as they had never learnt how to bathe babies.
Another session deals with exercises and breathing. While pretending the baby is being birthed, the partners learn how to coach the woman when she is in labour.
“He would learn how to recognise certain signs and then to coach her in actual labour and delivery. And I have found that the men being there have made such a difference to these women. The girls would say, ‘I don’t know what I would have done if he wasn’t there’…,” she said.
She emphasised how scary the birthing process can be, where the woman is in pain and does not know what is going to happen every step of the way. Gomes tries to prepare the women in her classes by letting them know what can happen every step of the way.
She shared the experience of a couple where the husband did not plan to go into the delivery room, but was complimented by the doctors because he was able to keep his wife calm and more in control which made for an easier delivery.
In her classes, Gomes said she addresses changes in the body and nutrition.
“I know sometimes people say I am already pregnant so I know the changes but telling people, going through from head to toe some of the things that can happen with the hormonal changes… and I also remind females our hormones cause a lot of things with us that sometimes we don’t understand and if our partners don’t understand it is even worse and it can interfere with your relationship” she noted.
As a consequence, she said, she goes through the changes in the body, physically and emotionally, and they also talk about nutrition. Gomes said she has found in the Caribbean most of the available information is foreign but she believes that people need to know about the food that is produced in their countries and how valuable it is.
There is a session that also addresses breastfeeding during which a DVD is shown. She pointed out that even though breastfeeding is supposed to be a natural thing, many women don’t know how to do it.
“You can’t just put the baby and expect the baby to find the breast, find the nipple. I explain to women in that session after the DVD about how to store your milk because you can store breastmilk in a freezer for up to six months. So I give them hints like that, about storing the milk, about positioning the baby…,” she said.
In the past as well once time permitted she visited homes and assisted women with breastfeeding.
“And it was a service I did for free because I just liked it,” she said.
There is also a session for the postpartum period, which lasts about up to six weeks after birth.
“We talk about the physical and emotional changes as you get back, and we talk a lot about things like depression because I have found postnatal depression to be so serious. Some people have committed suicide, they have attempted murdering their babies, and there are so many terrible things. And if the man understands what is going on with his partner… if they understand they can cope better,” she explained.
She advises them that if their partners are showing real deep emotional changes to talk to their doctors and discuss the issue as they may need medication.
“I think it is too important for us to ignore…” she pointed out, adding that now that she has more time she will provide more information on her Facebook page and answer people’s questions.
During that period as well, she also discusses birth control and she informs the men that it is not that their partners don’t want them during that time, “but it is just that she is afraid of getting pregnant. Who wants to get pregnant six weeks after having a baby? I know girls who got pregnant during their maternity leave.”
She usually tells them to think about it before the baby is born and decide what they are going to do and stick with it.
The last session deals with care of the newborn and CPR as there have been instances of babies dying at home and in pre-school. She believes it is important for everybody to know some first aid and CPR especially for the newborn.
“Even though I am doing it for the newborn, when I do that session I also do some first aid for adults…,” the trained first aid instructor said.
Protecting children
Outside of the birthing process, nursing and teaching Gomes is also an advocate for the protection of children. She does not subscribe to corporal punishment.
She pointed out that children need to be respected as they teach adults things even as they learn, “and if we don’t respect them they wouldn’t respect us. So that is me in a nutshell. My whole thing is family and I feel if we have a better family life we would have better citizens and better countries. I am really, really excited when I see the families… So this is me now doing what I really like.”
Gomes, who worked in the formal system for over 30 years, said over the years she has done many things, some of which were voluntary and as she puts it, “I just like it”.
She has also been working with women on menopause and trying to get men involved because that is the age when the men start looking for somebody who is not complaining so much.
As a child, Gomes said, when she left school she was unclear of what she wanted to do but she decided to apply for nursing.
“I did it and I got through and I loved it. I love the interaction with people and then I wanted to be a midwife because I really felt what goes on there. So I left Trinidad and I went [to Scotland] without knowing anybody there. It was winter time… I did midwifery and I loved it. I still do. It is such an amazing thing when a life comes into this world and to see the happiness on the parent’s faces,” she shared.
Over the years, she has seen the sad experiences of mothers alone going through the experiences, at the end of which they “stand up, baby in one hand suitcase in the other waiting for a taxi and I feel so sad and question why they have to go through it alone.
“I have no regrets in what I have done. I have learnt a lot and I enjoy it, especially now that I want to do more in the region for women, for families and I really would like men to be more involved with their families…,” she said.
At one time, Gomes also hosted a show called ‘Feelings’, which also focused on sex. Women would call in and make their contributions because it was anonymous and they would ask personal questions.
“There was really a need and I think up to today there is a need for people to ask questions, get the questions answered…,” she said.
The 65-year-old Gomes said she “can never not do something” and so she puts her all now into the classes. The classes are usually held on Wednesdays and Thursdays from 7 pm to 8:30 pm.
Gomes can be contacted on Facebook as Vanda Gomes, on WhatsApp at 868-682-4258, or via email at gomes_vanda@yahoo.com.
