“I so happy that she doing better, you know. Is like if me aunty come back. Like we didn’t believe how hard it woulda been fuh she when she husband die, but is now like we get to understand.”
Words of a woman whose aunt went through what is believed to be a period of depression about a year after her husband of over 30 years died. They had no children but relatives felt that she would not have rallied on without him. In this space I usually write of experiences that are mostly sad but I am happy to report that this is a feel-good one.
“My aunt and she husband used to do everything together. When you see one, you see the other one. I know they say teeth and tongue does fight and I guess yes they had ups and downs but we never see it. I used to spend a lot of time with them because they had no children and it was always so nice to be with them,” the woman told me.
“He was so good to her. Is like they had the perfect life; not rich or nothing but they just live good with each other and everybody used to like go by them. And then he get sick, but he did done retire and was getting pension and so. She had to now start taking care of him because like he just get worse and worse and them doctor couldn’t do nothing.
“It get so bad that he couldn’t walk and he was like losing he mind because he couldn’t really carry on a conversation. But my aunty never complain; she take care of that man, she alone, she was just so strong and she just do what she had to do.
“After years, one morning she just wake up and find that he dead and she cry a little but when we think she woulda scream up and so nothing like that. All on the funeral day she didn’t even cry and she didn’t go to see the body and we find it kinda strange, but we say maybe she want to remember him alive and not dead.
“After he bury and so everybody went back to how they was living and she had a little boy with she and it look like if she was making it. We would call and she would always say everything was good and you know we was like happy.
“But like a year after he bury, we start noticing like she was not the same. We would call, you know, she brothers and sisters and nieces and nephews; everybody would call one and two time and it was like she not sounding like she self. She is a woman does make a lot of jokes and so on but it was like when you call is we trying to make she laugh.
“One day she finally say like she feel like she don’t have no life in she body and how like she frighten to stay alone at home. We had to come to a decision to move she out of she house and is like she grieve more because she is a woman who accustom to live on she own but now she had to live with other people.
“It was like this woman was shrinking right before you very eyes, she not eating, she not talking and is like she give up on life. But you know everybody come forward and was like trying to help and they carry she to the doctor after doctor, because is like she not getting better,” the woman told me.
“But then somebody say take her to a doctor … I don’t know what you does call them, but you know they does like look after mad people.”
I asked if it was a psychiatrist and she responded in the affirmative.
She continued: “But we was like no this woman head good and she not mad why she must go there. But after she was not getting better a good set a we went with she to the doctor and then we like hear about depression and how she must be still grieving for she husband.
“We was like we couldn’t understand because, you know, you would expect it right after he dead; it was over a year and we was like we didn’t believe. But you know we continue taking her to the doctor and she would talk to her and so and she give she some tablets but we didn’t let she take plenty of it. We just like talk to she and we would like carry she out and so.
“And you know after a while this woman start feeling better and she just change. She start eating. She start talking back and is like we get back the same aunty again.
“And sometimes the woman even ask to go back to she house and is like I still can’t believe how she come back. But we would not leave she alone, we always checking in and we would like still carry she out and so. But it was the happiest day of me life when me aunty like come back. It was like she did gone away fuh a while, even though she was there it was not the same person but now she like come back,” the woman said with a broad smile.
“You know, I would like to encourage people to like support dem family. My aunty sisters and brothers really support she and it was so good to see and that is what you need more in this life. At first we didn’t know what to do but we didn’t just leave she alone,” the sister further told me.
“She don’ have children so we know we have to just support and she still strong and so we know with God she have many more years. As people, we just have to support one another, not just your family but especially your family. I could tell you it does help, look at me aunty today I am so happy,” she beamed.
I couldn’t agree with the sister more, too many times we are too busy living this life and we don’t feel we have time to help anyone else especially if it is for a long term. We have to take time out and help when we can. I am not saying leave you self empty but help where you can. Support your family and friends and even strangers when you can because the world needs more kind people. But if you just can’t help or you are overwhelmed yourself then it is also okay to just focus on you.
This woman and her family can bear testimony to the fact that all a person may need is some love and support. I pray that her aunt lives for many more years and they continue to support her.
