Genevieve Ngosa Daniels used to leave home at 6 am in the middle of winter to attend the American Academy of Dramatic Arts (AADA) in New York. “Winters were hard because when it was dark, it was dark and when it was cold, it was cold,” 26-year-old Daniels said.
Daniels is the first Guyanese to attend the AADA conservatory programme. She could not afford to stay on campus and travelled the two hours between her home and the school. Her commute to school consisted of two trains and a 15-minute walk. This was challenging for Daniels. But her time at the AADA has left her with valuable life lessons. “Seasons change and even if you are in the dark right now, it will change. Spring is gonna come, summer is gonna come. Time has to pass. It is not always going to be dark. And I am grateful to know that’s kind of where I am at in my journey; where I am beginning to see the light. I am beginning to see my efforts paying off, even though there is a next step in the journey and there is still more for me to weave through.”
On April 24, Daniels graduated at the top of her class and won the Charles Jehlinger Award. Jehlinger was a drama teacher at the school. This award is presented to the person who comes close to embodying the ideology of an artist and a person when it comes to the craft of acting, Daniels said. She is the first Guyanese to achieve this award which was previously given to actors like Grace Kelly, Jessica Chastain, Anne Hathaway, Robert Redford and Daniel DeVito. With this important achievement, Daniels has demonstrated that Guyanese have the ability to compete with actors around the world.
At school, she trained for eight to ten hours daily and expressed that once you leave AADA your place as an artist is guaranteed. She has already begun to attract the attention of industry professionals who have begun asking her to audition for roles.
The intensity of her programme dispels the belief that acting is not a worthy career or path which was the reaction by some family members and friends when Daniels said she was going to study it. Daniels had received an email from AADA that encouraged her to finish her application. She had paused her application and saw this as a sign that she should complete it. She did an audition for the school and was accepted, but did not know how she was going to pay her fees. Some family members refused to offer financial support and discouraged the path. Daniels was in a predicament. But despite the lack of resources from family, she did have the support of the AADA. At her audition, she was told that there are bright things in her future. These words cemented the belief in her dream and words were followed by actions.
Daniels received two partial scholarships from the school and stayed with her grandmother so she could attend school. The journey had begun. Despite excelling at her craft Daniels still had anxiety about affording her education. “It wasn’t easy. There were times when I wanted to give up, especially when I didn’t know how I was gonna pay my school fees and the school would tell me about my outstanding balance. I was ducking and hiding in the halls because I didn’t want anyone to see me because I was scared they would tell me to leave,” she said.
The school’s finance department worked with Daniels to figure out the best way to allow her to remain at school. Then, someone saw her work at school and was so impressed that he decided to assist her and she was able to complete her time at the academy. AADA then invited her for an additional year which is more streamlined, and actors get the chance to work with more directors and agents who are in the industry and begin to build a portfolio as they prepare to leave the academy, according to Daniels.
The academy has shown Daniels that support does not always come from family and friends and can be just as valuable when it comes from others to help one strengthen one’s dreams.
“I think it is a wondrous thing when people outside of you see how hard you work and how passionate you are and just the fact that you’re willing to put in the effort because you believe in a dream that only you see and no one else around you sees. Not your family. Not your friends… At least for me, I thought maybe my support would come from them but it didn’t. And that’s okay. That happens. But the people at the AADA really believed in me and encouraged me and days when I couldn’t believe and encouraged myself they were there for me,” she said.
The academy has also been therapeutic for Daniels and she credits it with connecting to herself. “It is better to be your most authentic self and to be you than anyone else. Acting is therapy, we had to strip away all these things. All the layers and the walls that we put up because we are scared to let people in. Or we are just scared to be ourselves because we think we won’t be accepted for who we are,” she said. “I always felt that I needed to be something else. I need to be well put together but a lot of that can do more harm than… good. Things that make us feel insecure like we are not enough because we don’t want people to see who we are; I had to strip that away without feeling the need to please anyone. Just be who you are. When you are able to embrace who you are, then you are able to create any character.”
Daniels has been creating characters since childhood. She would act in advertisements for her father who had a production company. She began to fall in love with performance and this was honed at West Ruimveldt Primary School where she entered poetry and drama competitions, usually securing first or second place. At St Rose’s High School, she continued doing what she loved and studied theatre arts at the Caribbean Secondary Education Certificate examinations.
When people began to realise she was committed to following her dreams, they began to cast doubts. Daniels had to shut these words out because she knew they would deter her from her path. “People have this way of projecting and a lot of times people projected their fears onto me and I had to pause and reflect on those self-limiting beliefs that were being placed on me. I had to understand it, but that was their experience and not mine,” Daniels said.
Daniels has begun to build her experience and she has realised that having low self-confidence can limit one’s belief in oneself. “A lot of times I would downplay or shy away from things I wanted to do because I didn’t feel good enough,” she said. She has also begun to practise the art of listening and meditation, which she said has helped her as a person and as an actor.
“I didn’t realise how underrated listening is and some of the [acting] exercises were for listening… I take you in and I have to note everything you are doing and it may sound simple but it is a truly vulnerable experience and sometimes it feels like a psychological trip to have someone observing you so intently,” she said, while adding, “I am an active lover of meditation. Meditation is anything that helps me to connect to my breath. Connect with sight, sound and breath. I’m breathing. I can feel the air beneath me and that helps me to connect so that for me has been super helpful. I journal a lot as well and it is just to clear my mind and get any junk out and it doesn’t have to do anything. It doesn’t have to make sense; it creates a lot more space and room to do the creative things I want to do.”