I questioned over and over, how could a beautiful 23-year-old woman with so much happening give up on life? It played on my mind ever since viewing a Facebook video of that beautiful, seemingly vibrant, young woman.
It didn’t matter to me that she was not Guyanese and that she died in another country. What mattered was that another young person felt that her only option was to take her life and I wondered how humans can continue to fail humans to this extent. Her name was Ashley Mayers. She was 23. She was the owner of Alexsandra Pile Products, a natural skincare and herbal hair company. She was Barbadian.
A Facebook video shared by someone on my friends’ list (you will hear about this a little later) led me to researching this young woman even though it was after she died. This was what she had said about herself on Facebook: “Hi, I’m Ashley. I’m 23 years old. I started this business when I was 16 years old. I started by walking around with a basket, at 17 selling my products from a table under the Independence Arch by the Bridge in Bridgetown for 3 and a half years. During that time my products were available at 10 locations. I have an international website where I ship products all over the world. At 21, I got my first store in Pelican Village. At 22 I took my business to London. Now I’m 23, back in Barbados. We have a lot in store.”
Ashley’s unfortunate death, which I later learnt was by hanging in her home, was brought to my attention through a video by another young woman who was obviously heartbroken.
“Picture behind me is a beautiful young lady who I had the opportunity of meeting and engaging with…,” she said. “I had the privilege of interviewing Ashley and showcasing her products and services on numerous occasions.
“And what I got to know was very impressive. Ashley was a beautiful young lady, she was articulate, she was so smart and intelligent. She was well spoken, she was ambitious, she was a hustler and she knew what it was like to struggle. She knew what it was like not to have a support system. “As there is a God above this young lady was trying to hold her head above water. But like many of us who are active on social media she was subjected to a lot of hate and negativity to the point where it became overwhelming.
“And I am seeing a lot of people saying rest in peace Ashley, rest in peace but some of you all were the ones who were ripping her a part especially on twitter. Oh my God the twitter people you all are awful, awful! Ripping her to shreds and now you are saying rest in peace when you could have been more kind, when you could have been compassionate when you could [have] lent a helping hand to this young lady who only wanted to be successful and be loved.
“So that is what I want to say, to those of you who are facing anxiety, who are battling depression it is okay to say that is how you feel. It is okay not to be okay.
“Don’t let anybody tell you, you have nothing to feel sad about, you have nothing to be anxious about, you have nothing to be depressed about. Talk about it. And we need to listen, behind every smile, behind the smile that people wear as a mask they are fighting, they are fighting to remain among the living.
“We have to do better, we have to be there for our young people, we have to be there for our women, we have to be there for our young men. And the social media hate and cyber bullying and stuff we really have to use social media more responsibly because we have no idea how detrimental it can be to someone who is literally at their breaking point.
“If there is anything you can do, be kind. I want to remember Ashley as a vibrant, beautiful, charming young lady with big dreams and this is my tribute to her, rest in peace Ashley, rest in peace,” she ended. The video switched to one showing Ashley in a wide-brimmed, white hat, black uniform and pink slippers. She was running around an empty space excitedly screaming and saying ‘Oh my God’ among other things. She later shared that it was her first store space.
Later with a broad smile she described that it was a “big intense feeling” to get her first store as she had worked very hard. She emotionally said she was so grateful. How does one move from that to not want to exist on this earth anymore? It is a question none of us can answer.
I could not concur more with the young woman who spoke about Ashley. Social media can be so cruel and people are just so hurtful with the words they type, not thinking about the detrimental effects they might have. I have always said in this space to just be kind and lend a listening ear where we can. You don’t have to agree with everyone, you don’t have to like everyone. But that does not give you the right to bully anyone and mess with their mental health. There are so many Ashleys out there who are being attacked in the virtual world and are fighting to keep their heads above water. Remember them anytime you are tempted to say something nasty about someone online. It is important for us to think before we type. More and more emphasis is being placed on mental health and this could not have happened sooner.
October 10th is World Mental Health Day and according to the World Health Organisation the day is to raise awareness of and mobilize efforts in support of mental health. “The day provides an opportunity for all stakeholders working on mental health issues to talk about their work, and what more needs to be done to make mental health care a reality for people worldwide,” WHO said.
Maybe we need to do more on and around this day as too many people are dying or suffering in silence from depression. Closer to home, as a reminder, there were some sobering statistics revealed in 2021 by the Ministry of Human Services and Social Security. Of 147 suicide cases, 120 were men. No time period was given. Nineteen of those were aged five to 19 years, while 109 were between 20 and 60 years. Regions Three, Four and Six accounted for the largest numbers of those deaths. Worrisome also is the fact that during the first half of 2021, 30 children attempted suicide with 25 being girls. Reports revealed that approximately 30% of children aged 15-19 years couldn’t share their problems with anyone.
If you are experiencing depression or feeling suicidal, please call the Mental Health Unit on 223-0001 or 223-0009. You can also call or text 623-4444 or 6007892. A 24/7 toll free ‘Safe Space’ number 655-7233 was launched recently as a collaboration between the Guyana Telephone and Telegraph Company and the Pan American Health Organisation. It aims to provide access to support for people who are unable to have face-to-face interactions.
Remember to be kind.
