There is always something deeply satisfying about putting in all of our energy into a task for several weeks or months to receive the best outcome. When we achieve what we desire through working hard, the achievement feels so much more rewarding.
Have you ever experienced a moment when you achieve one of the most important goals in your life, and as soon as a few minutes pass, you feel no satisfaction or joy within you? Have you ever received an award or title that you truly worked for, and yet did not feel pride or happiness?
These emotions of dissatisfaction are a little more common than you think. There are so many young people who receive well-deserved awards only to feel completely apathetic and as a result, confused as to why they are not more excited.
Recently, I discovered that unhappiness and a lack of self-satisfaction amongst high achievers is quite prevalent. This is a truly shocking fact, as young people who do well in their life are usually seen as people who have good control of their mental and emotional health. This perception stems from the assumption that those who are capable of making achievements and those who seem to be doing well in life do not have much reason to be disappointed or sad.
Sabrina Samanoff, doctor of Psychology, compares high achievers to mountain climbers. Whenever a high achiever ‘climbs a mountain’, that is, whenever they wish to achieve an important goal, they become fixated on it and put all of their energy into it. Then, when they finally climb the mountain and reach the peak, they do not have the ability or inclination to stop and enjoy the view. Instead, they continue to look for the next climb.
This cycle of continuously exerting yourself over tasks that do not give you any form of gratification can not only be exhausting, but truly damaging. This habit can lead you into living in a way where it becomes difficult to find happiness even in things that used to bring you great joy. This cycle may even lead to depression.
When we set goals for ourselves, we must take time to consider whether our goal is worth the
sacrifice that it takes. Is the expensive car worth all the small comforts that I usually spend my money on? Is that promotion worth the time I do not spend with my family? Are those several extra subjects worth the memories I miss with my friends? If you find that the sacrifices take more from you than you will gain from your goal, then it is probably healthier to set another goal instead.
Additionally, another way in which we can regulate ourselves is by only setting goals whose effects will last for a longer time. This means that the ultimate result of our efforts is not just a golden trophy on a shelf, or a round of applause. Instead, it should be knowledge in a new area or a special skill that you can use later on in your life.
It is quite simple to ensure that our life does not become an exhausting climb that never ends. All it takes is for us to stop and consider whether a goal is something that we need to achieve, or if it is something that we want to achieve.
