Similar to most things in our lives, our personal growth can also be affected heavily by the people who cross our paths. The words that are shared with us can live with us for the rest of our lives, but the words that were not shared in the empty silences that truly merited it, can change us entirely.
So, living through a delicate balance of events that are almost entirely caused by other humans and whose cumulative effects can shape us, makes it vital that we develop a strong sense of identity. In order to do so, we must first become familiar with who we are.
Jean-Paul Satre, a French playwright and philosopher, once said “If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company.”
Solitude can be a beautiful feeling for those who have learned the art of introspection. For others, it can lead the mind to places that are undesirable. Solitude does not necessarily mean loneliness, and loneliness does not necessarily mean that you are alone. While it is quite alright to enjoy your own company for a little while, the true problem arises when you feel lonely even when you are surrounded by those who love you and deeply care for you.
Solitude means being separated from the noise and rush of the outside world. It may simply be spending some time alone with a book, or listening to music while you think about your day. Loneliness, on the other hand, is much different. Loneliness can indicate a sense of detachment from the world and your identity. It may mean that there is a hollow space between what you desire from the world, and what it gives you. As a result, you may have taken on the habit of experiencing emotions and situations passively, as if they were a slight breeze that leaves behind no impact on you apart from that fleeting moment when you were aware of its existence. Eventually, this habit can have the dangerous effect of completely extricating you from the life you have constructed.
It can prevent you from developing fulfilling relationships or being happy in general. You will begin to find that solitude, loneliness and being alone all blend into one familiar feeling of general emptiness.
The key to preventing loneliness is, surprisingly, learning to embrace solitude. Learn to become comfortable with yourself when you are alone. Acquire an understanding of the way you think and respond to different situations. Most importantly, figure out what you expect from life on a daily basis and see if these expectations are realistic. The only person who can build your identity and keep it stable throughout the course of your life is you. After everything you go through and all the things that you do, you are the only person who has the ability to determine what you become.
We are like stars scattered across the sky. We are connected by thin strands of starlight that may stretch through several light years, and from a distant planet, we will appear as a single blanket of glittering entities. Ultimately, however, the energy that makes us glow and the power that keeps us alive comes from within us.
