I know many of us sisters are getting anxious. Why? Christmas is just 30 days away. Yes, you read right, Christmas is less than a month away. While some are way ahead with their preparations, some of us are trying to figure out how and when to start. Others are getting tired just thinking about the cleaning before the actual preparation.
I don’t know if it is just a Guyanese thing, but we really do put ourselves under a lot of pressure year in year out. For what? It does not matter that we are reminded that Christmas is about giving and sharing and remembering the sacrifice Jesus Christ made to come to this earth as a baby before ultimately giving his life for us, we still spend too much energy ‘making the house look nice’.
Today is the first of four Sundays before Christmas, make it count. Remember to take it easy to ensure that there are no anxiety attacks.
Four years ago, on December 22nd 2019, I published the piece below that is still very apt today.
“Sometimes I want to do so much, and it just gets to me. Right now, I feel so overwhelmed, honestly,” she said, and her facial expression illustrated just what she was describing.
“There are times when I wonder if I am supposed to be superwoman or maybe I want to be superwoman because in my head there is a lot I feel I need to do to have a perfect Christmas,” were the words of yet another sister.
“Right now, my house is a confusion and I don’t even know where to start. Every year I keep saying that I would not let this happen next year and then next year comes and the very thing happens. Tell me, why would I do this to myself?” she did not expect an answer to this question.
I spoke with different sisters about the ‘jolly season’ and from their words there was nothing jolly about preparing for December 25, which is just three days away.
Women can get busy around this time of the year, so I decided to just ask a few of my sisters how they are dealing with pressures of preparing for the big day. I say ‘big day’ as opposed to Christmas season because many times Guyanese are caught up with preparing for December 25 and so on the eve of that day, they are doing heavy-duty preparation. When the day finally comes, they (mostly women) are so tired and worn out that they are unable to enjoy it. The rest of the holiday passes them in a blur as they try to regroup from the hectic work they were involved in.
But not all the sisters I spoke to said that it was stress season for them.
“Girl, I make sure I not getting caught up in the mad rush. My curtains and everything already up and I just relaxing, I don’t want no stress,” one told me more than a week before Christmas day.
“I am really not doing much this year and I am finished, once the children get their gifts and I have food that is good for me,” another said.
I know a sister who just loves Christmas and being around her, one cannot help getting caught up in the season. It is never tiring for her and she always has time to give tips about decorating and gift ideas (she even wraps your gifts!). For her, Christmas is indeed “the most wonderful time of the year” as the song says.
But most of my sisters (and I must add me to a certain extent) were/are caught up in the last-minute preparations after ‘breaking up the house’ and fixing it back in a different style so it can look brand new for Christmas.
“I don’t know why we do this to ourselves. I mean I am telling you; I literally lose pounds leading up for Christmas, working so hard, trying to get everything done, not eating properly and just going, going all the time and then it is like I get sick after it all done,” a friend told me.
I agreed with her fully because many times I have to check myself because I get so carried away, not thinking about my stress level until it is too late.
“It is like what is supposed to be a happy period becomes depressing because the money finishing and you still not getting all you think you need for the season and then you wonder if you overspend, it can be just crazy,” my friend continued.
“And what really gets me upset is that every year I am doing the same thing and it is the same result. It is not like I am managing my time and finances around this time better during any given Christmas season and even that adds to my depression.
“But you know my family is happy around that time and that gives me that joy too even though I am damned tired from it all. I like looking at my crisp curtains and the rearranged furniture with the freshly-scrubbed walls all coupled with the smell of pepper pot does something for me that I can’t find nowhere else,” she said, laughing at the same time.
I believe the above would be the sentiment of many sisters as there is just something about Christmas. It seems that one just has to work hard to get that ‘something’, that feeling.
I asked another sister why she pressures herself to do so much before and even during the season.
“You know, if I don’t do nothing that is another depression. So, I just have to get up and get. I like the spirit, you know. I like the whole season, but I think I just have to find a way to balance things and not overdo the thing,” she answered.
“There is no Christmas if you don’t try a little bit and every year I am trying not to allow it to really get me bogged down, spend a little, do some sprucing up but not too much,” she continued.
Another sister I spoke to said it is how we are socialized, and it is difficult to get away from all that comes with the Christmas preparation.
“You remember when growing up how our parents use to prepare? Most of us did not have a lot, but our mothers would go out and we as children would be so excited, no matter how hard we had to work it was exciting. And it was not just you, but everybody in the neighbourhood. So, when you grow you grow with that, it is hard not to want to do things around Christmas time,” she told me.
“My take is do what makes you happy and if working till you drop makes you happy then do it. But you have to also take care of your health. So, I am not even sure how that works. Women have to take care of themselves…” she said, trailing off and it was obvious she was deep in thought.
I got what the sister was saying. That strain, both mental and physical that we put on ourselves for the Christmas holiday is not healthy. We have to indeed find balance, as one of the sisters suggested. It will not be easy but there is the need and being healthy and happy is the best gift we can give our children. A stressed and tired mommy will be of no use to them.
So, sisters remember to take it easy. And plan for next year, spend less, do less work and just try to enjoy the season. Start the preparation earlier and don’t ‘break up the house,’ clean and just put things back in place. That ‘breaking up’ of the house really does a number on us. Be smart next year, sisters. Let us plan to enjoy the season as much as our families.
There is still time and as the saying goes ‘don’t over do the do’. Do, but not too much. Enjoy the season and remember the real reason for this season.
