Have you ever found yourself wondering why you do not fit in like everybody else? Perhaps you may have hobbies or interests that no one else has. Or, you may simply have a unique personality that does not always complement the personalities of those who surround you.
When we have to spend a lot of time in a place like our school or workplace, we naturally prefer to feel comfortable and at home in that place. Growing up in a space where you feel uneasy all the time can become frustrating. Such an environment can result in anxiety. Most notably, however, it can lead to you changing yourself from who you truly are into someone else.
Peer pressure is a phenomenon where individuals are forced into making choices that make them uncomfortable and go against their own values. Peer pressure is especially common amongst young people, since a big part of our growth is centred around the process of finding a place where we can fit in. When we are met with the cold feeling of realising that we do not conform to the norms of a certain setting, our most immediate response is to attempt to change ourselves to fit in. This can start with something as small as changing our sense of fashion to mimic that of our friends. However, peer pressure can also lead us into making more dangerous choices whose effects can last a lifetime.
Imagine that you are a piece of a puzzle. ‘Fitting in’, for you, would mean that you are able to perfectly match the other pieces that make up the puzzle. ‘Fitting in’, would mean that you have your own place on the table, and when you find that place, you would be able to settle in without any struggle, and there would be no questions about the validity of your position.
Now, imagine that you do not fit in. You are a puzzle piece that is shaped differently and coloured differently from all the other pieces, so no matter what direction you turn, you simply cannot be a part of the picture. It is at this stage that peer pressure can become harmful. The need to fall into place and the desire to be accepted may lead you to change your most basic nature and go against your values. You may paint yourself and shape yourself to mimic the other puzzle pieces.
The truth is, no matter how much we change ourselves, we will never fit into a place or a group that is not meant for us. Sometimes, when we do not fit in, it is not because we have to change ourselves, or because the group has to change itself. It may simply be because you do not match with each other. There are billions of people in this world, and millions of groups that you can be part of without having to change who you are. Being young means that you have your whole life ahead of you to find and meet these people.
No matter how much you modify a puzzle piece, it will never fit into a puzzle that it was not made for, because there simply is not any space for it on the board. On the other hand, the ill-fitting puzzle piece could be taken and safe-guarded until its true place is found in the puzzle that it was meant for.
Of course, if you can never seem to find your place, you can create it yourself.
So, cherish and nurture that strange skill that no one else seems to have. Enjoy your favourite music, books and movies even if your friends do not like them. Express yourself in the manner that is most natural to you without being afraid of seeming odd. Life can become much too difficult if we spend it living it for someone else.
