Holidays are weirdly tortuous when you are an immigrant. It almost feels like an endless marathon, trying to recreate the magic of the holidays that you were once accustomed to, knowing fully well it will culminate with feeling a profound sense of loss sandwiched in droplets of happiness and disappointment at having yet another season come around and still not managing to get it quite right.
How many years will it take to get over it? I ask myself this constantly. How much consumerism should I lean into to numb this weirdness that I feel? And more importantly, why am I still considering it a loss?
If given a choice, would I still opt for a different life? Whether it be Easter, Christmas, Eid or Diwali we all have our expectations of how the season should be enjoyed and for sure it doesn’t help that added pressure is felt when we are in such proximity to seeing (via social media) how well curated other people’s fun looks.