I received so many perplexing reactions from friends when I shared that I was travelling to Qatar. It felt as if people were deeply concerned for both my well-being and the possibility of me being able to have fun. One friend even suggested that since the trip involved seeing my brother, perhaps it would be a better idea to see him in London as he was in transit.
In every reaction there was always somehow an element that I should expect something to be taken from me or/and be prepared to offer a reduced version of myself so as to guarantee my safety. I can’t stifle my conscience, all the raised eyebrows, the uncomfortable ‘so what will you actually do there’ questions put me on edge. At one point I was even thinking that perhaps I should take my marriage certificate to justify my relation to my husband since I have not taken his name.
Most of these reactions while mired in ignorance were really a direct result of the effect of stereotypes peddled by western media about women in the Middle East. These stereotypes always seem to be generally focused on women’s rights and a certain type of savage violence that can ensue if one doesn’t do as expected.
Reflecting, I realised that no one, not for a second, ever questioned my husband’s choice of travelling to Qatar.
Here two reflections that stood out most for me
Dresscode
I intentionally looked for police officers or any form of authority figures, constantly. In the week that I was there, I saw two and they were both standing in front of the police outpost in the market, and, from the look of it, minding their own business. A common misconception is that one would be constantly upbraided or cautioned for his or her dress code outside the confines of one’s hotel. This is an absolutely misleading, concocted assumption. I saw women in crop tops, sleeveless and backless dresses roaming both the streets and markets freely. I even saw one tourist in a see-through bikini coverup granted entry to the museum. I myself threw my jacket off on one occasion because the heat felt like it would be the death of me and left the hotel’s confines bare shouldered. I felt like the longer you stayed, the more you realised that the rules and ways of living applied only to the locals and weirdly enough at the same time you become even more drawn to a modest style of dressing. I bought my first Abbya.
Present fun
Most people’s definition of fun is having access to copious amounts of alcohol and though its access is reduced in Qatar it is still readily available in bars, hotels and clubs. Living in Germany where people are allowed to walk and drink on the streets/parks and are allowed to have one beer and still drive and coming from Guyana where drinking feels socially necessary, made me reflect on our dependence on it for socialising.
Every single night it felt as if Doha never slept. Children were out playing well past midnight and families were socialising in cafes and restaurants late into the night. It was overly stimulating to experience but at the same time so wholesome. It felt like everyone was high on the happiness of those in their company and really connecting. If I am to be honest, I even wondered to myself if I was really having fun all those times when alcohol was involved and can it really be authentic if it had to be induced and supported via a collaboration with alcohol.
Anthony Bourdain’s quote is possibly the best suited for this experience, “Without experimentation, a willingness to ask questions and try new things, we shall surely become static, repetitive and moribund”. Life is indeed better experienced when you seek to learn, disarm yourself from stereotypes and bask in new and different ways of doing things. Take this at your sign to try and learn about something totally foreign to you and at the very least resist the temptation of giving life to stereotypes that can cause harm.
