“People would say to me like you don’t have stress because you always so happy or that you don’t allow anything to bother you. And I would say to myself, ‘if they only know,’” a sister said to me recently as we caught up.
It does appear as if she has everything going for her. She is married, her children are progressing quite nicely, she and her husband both have jobs and they drive. Much to be thankful for right? And she is.
“I know the good Lord has been good to me and I try to portray that. Because if I am serving a living saviour who I say helps me in this life then I have to show that to others. But it is not easy like one, two, three as it might appear.
“Of course, I have my problems and issues and of course there are times when I feel like giving up but I try not to let people know about it,” she told me candidly.
“For me, being happy when people are around even if something is bothering me brings me some joy too because then people want to be around me and we would have light moments and it helps me at least for a while to forget the issue that is bothering me.
“Look, let me tell you something, I grow up really poor and life was hard, really hard. Today I am not rich but my children don’t have to go through half of the things I went through. They have all they need and life is comfortable, they might not get everything they want but they don’t need anything. And for me that is riches,” she told me smiling.
I could not help but notice how relaxed this sister was as she shared and she spoke her words with an almost tangible passion.
“Some people may look at it and believe that I am not facing any problems in my life but that is not true at all. We all know even the richest persons in the world have problems, we see rich people even committing suicide. That is just how life is. It is not perfect but I guess you have to accept and do what needs to be done.
“I know that people have so much more problems than me; like if you can’t feed your children that is a big problem. Or if your husband is abusive then that is a big problem too. But we all have our problems. I am not one to dwell on my own. I try to deal with them as they come and sometimes I cry and leave it up to the Lord,” she added.
And then she told me something that had me thinking.
“You know what brings me joy?” she asked, proceeding to answer her question without giving me a chance to proffer one.
“Giving. Yes, giving. Some people would tell me I would give away the clothes on my back and I have no issue with that. When I look back at how far I come from and how things are for me today I cannot help but give people things if they need. I want my children to understand the importance of giving and helping.
“But you know the sad part is that I seem to fail on that part because my children are selfish. I not sugar coating anything, they are just selfish and that makes me sad at times. Because I don’t know how things will be for them when they grow up and they might need help but now they are not helpful,” she said showing the first signs of sadness during our conversation.
“I will continue to show them though. I feel happy when I could cook and give people food and if it is my last dollar and somebody need it I would give them. I not paying a rent, I don’t pay a mortgage so it is not so hard for me. I know other people have all of that to deal with so I understand that some people might get it more hard with all the bills,” she continued.
I asked her if some days she didn’t find it difficult to be all positive.
“Yes, I am human and like I said before I do cry and feel like giving up at times. But I do this more in private. I don’t like people feeling sorry for me and I just like to have happy people around me. I not saying I would not listen to someone who might be going through a rough time. I don’t like though when people can only talk about what is bad all the time.
“For me you have to try and deal with the issues. If you can fix it, fix it. If you need help to get it done, then get the help. But don’t sit down and like mind this problem, you know. Like I feel some people just like to be sad and want people to feel sorry for them.
“I try my best to just work through my problems and whenever I am at work and so I want a happy environment so I try to work on that. That is just me, and I must say I don’t know what people might be going through and how I would react if it was me so I would say to each their own,” she told me.
“I look at life this way: we live, we get old and then we die. That is all this life is about so I just try to live the best way I can. I can consider myself lucky because I am relatively comfortable and I can actually help others and that makes me happy. Some people don’t have it that way and they struggle, really struggle and I wish life would be better for everybody.
“All of us can’t be rich but I wish all of us could at least eat, have clothes and somewhere to live, that would be a good thing. I am getting old now and for me I think I have lived my life. Not that I want to die anytime soon, no not at all, all my children are not adults as yet. But there is nothing that I am really working to achieve now. I just want to live a simple, healthy life and hope at the end of the day my children are relatively happy on this earth,” she said.
I really like sharing this aspect of this sister’s life. I know many times I share sad stories in this space but this is a positive one and I hope it brought some amount of positivity to you as you read it. Live, love, give and be happy. I guess that is the sister’s mantra. But as she said the world is not like that and there are too many people on this earth who just can’t seem to get a break. Too many don’t have enough to eat. Too many are dying young and families are grieving. There is too much crime, too much greed, too many natural disasters. And the list can go on but you know what? Like the sister, be positive when you can and fix what you can. We cannot fix the world and let us not become overwhelmed by all that is not right or else we will be existing.
So live, love, give and be happy when you can.
