Dear Editor,
I found myself amused while reading the recent opposition claims concerning the alleged rigging of the Venezuelan presidential elections. This assertion implies that international observers, celebrated for their impartiality, performed abysmally, and I humorously suggest that they might as well have been a group of well-trained Guyanese, notorious for election rigging.
Let me be clear, I hold my fellow countrymen in the highest regard. However, envisioning a scenario in 2025 where a contingent of Guyanese observers commandeers the entire election process, manipulating it as deftly as a magician performing for students at a Primary School, is quite entertaining. I can scarcely get my Guyanese friends to agree on the best pepperpot recipe, yet orchestrating a sophisticated electoral subterfuge would seemingly be a trivial task for the party diehards.
It is perhaps a testament to our reputation for cunning and resourcefulness that our local political parties presume us capable of such feats. Imagine us infiltrating polling stations in Venezuela with the grace of a jaguar and the stealth of a shadow, our limited Spanish blending seamlessly with the local culture.
Of course, this scenario underscores the paradoxical nature of so-called democratic, free, and fair elections. I can picture these Guyanese observers during their monitoring of the Venezuelan election, bringing their own arepas and empanadas, armed with laptops and algorithms, or perhaps employing the ancient and mystical art of “cross the X here, amigo.”
In a world where the absurd often becomes reality, it is almost heartwarming to think that the international community would trust international observers to ensure fair play in any presidential elections globally. Even former President Trump continues to claim electoral fraud to this day. Perhaps in 2025, we could enlist children to lend their innocent and truthful expertise to monitor Guyana’s general elections. Why stop there? Why not engage them for all global elections, or even involve Martians? After all, if the tune remains the same worldwide that national elections have been rigged for centuries, then the issue might lie within the very DNA of humankind qualified to vote. Consequently, electorates worldwide should consider voting in other countries’ general elections through random selection by Artificial Intelligence.
In conclusion, allegations of rigged elections will perpetually be the default narrative for opposition parties and their supporters. In fact, it is a common campaign tactic, indoctrinating the masses up until election day.
Sincerely,
Keith Bernard
