One of the earliest lessons we learn in life is centred around the importance of forgiveness. We are taught that the key to living a peaceful life is learning how to forgive those who have wronged us, regardless of whether or not they deserve to be forgiven. We are taught that holding grudges is equivalent to holding onto something that constantly wounds us. The only sensible thing to do is to drop it and move on. Despite the great amount of focus that is placed on the value of forgiveness, there is a part of it that we are almost never taught to do properly. This part is asking for forgiveness.
Ironically, the word ‘sorry’ is something we seem to use everywhere but the places that need it the most. For instance, we say sorry when we step on someone’s toes or when we accidentally interrupt an individual who is speaking. We say sorry when we knock over something or when we are late to a meeting. Yet, when we do something more significantly wounding, it seems as if we forget to notice, much less apologise for it.
Recently, I discovered that there was a strange phenomenon that took place during the First World War in 1914. This phenomenon would later be dubbed the ‘Christmas Truce’. During Christmas day, and in some areas, all the way to New Year’s Eve, several thousand soldiers from both sides of the war simply stopped fighting in an unofficial truce. Not only did the soldiers stop fighting, but they also began to sing carols and exchange gifts with each other. The higher officials found this truce to be disagreeable because it meant that some soldiers would no longer be willing to fight or kill the “enemies”. Furthermore, the truce only lasted for a few hours in some places. Nevertheless, it was a shocking and heartwarming display of humanity amidst one of the most pointlessly violent periods of human history.
Bruce Lee once said “Mistakes are always forgivable if one has the courage to admit them.”
We are often fooled into believing that true human nature is cold and violent. The busy world can distract us from the importance of courtesies and kindness. Yet, deep inside every person is a warm and courageous soul that yearns to care for others and form meaningful bonds. If even soldiers that had been attempting to kill each other for months can put aside their differences for the sake of peace, then it is not impossible for us to apologise to heal a wound.
In the same manner that we are taught to forgive those who may not truly deserve forgiveness, we must learn to apologise even if in the moment, the mistake may not be on our side.
The word ‘sorry’ is a small key that can unlock heavy doors of hurt and coldness. It can heal relationships and prevent conflict. We only need to be generous and courageous enough to dispense the word sincerely whenever it is truly needed.
