Dear Editor,
I write to you today regarding the life-altering $100,000 cash grant that I, a non-resident Guyanese passport-holder—overseas-based, of course—have had the distinct honour of being awarded. Though I’d love to be hopping on a plane to Guyana for a celebratory collection of this windfall, the ever-enlightening government has us all on tenterhooks as we await the next round of “bread” distribution criteria. You know how fluid these things are.
Sadly, the stars (or perhaps just the latest policy draft) have not aligned for me to collect the grant in person. Nonetheless, my altruism remains intact. I’ve decided to split this small fortune between The Palms Elderly Care facility and the Dharam Shala in my home ward Albouystown. Both institutions, as you know, tirelessly serve the less glamorous members of society—those who likely haven’t seen a grant in their lifetimes.
I’m fully aware that my absence might cause some concern. However, I’m arranging for all the proper channels to ensure the funds are transferred to these deserving causes, assuming, of course, that the guidelines don’t change in the next few minutes. Rest assured, I am committed to making an impact—whether or not I ever set foot on Guyanese soil again. I trust this noble gesture will be honoured despite the whimsical nature of ever-shifting eligibility requirements.
Sincerely,
Keith Bernard
