Whether it’s Eid, Easter, Diwali or Christmas, many of us find ourselves in a state of reflection as we engage in the rituals and traditions with which we grew up. Through various seasons of our lives, these engagements wax and wane. At times they can make you cry. And at times, they can make you laugh. The opposite emotions bring some sort of balance.
I’ve been following a friend online as she’s been going through the rituals of preparing for Diwali. For more than a week in advance of the date, she’s been making (from scratch) a variety of treats, both sweet and savoury. Amidst all of this preparation, life goes on – work, taking care of the home and family, complete with school and extracurricular drop off and pick up. It’s nothing new or different from what many people are doing but what I found interesting is how this year, all the Diwali preparations that she’s been doing is marked by the memory of her Mom who passed away two years ago.
While my friend Pallavi wrote short posts about what she was doing, including what she was getting right and not getting right, you could tell that she was channelling the memory of her mother in everything being made, from Chakli (a spiral-shaped savoury fried snack made with rice flour and a couple of pea powders), to toasting besan (chickpea powder) to make ladoos. She shared a piece of expert advice from her late mother, “Make ladoos when there is plenty of natural light, that way, you know how well you have roasted the flour.” Pallavi explained that she did not have that luxury (of natural light) because she was making the ladoos in the evening after dinner! We both laughed hoping the artificial light would not let her down.
There is a generation of us (perhaps it is indicative of our age) who have lost parents and loved ones, and partake in the many activities of festivals and holiday-making within the home even when we don’t feel like it. But then we end up doing it all – for them and in the memory of them; for others and for ourselves. There are times when you wish you could pick up the phone and call, to ask how to make this or that, or how to troubleshoot when things have gone awry. There were skills, wisdom, knowledge and experience that you could tap into. And they seemed to know how to make and do everything. Perfectly. We, as their children, in our own way, try to keep the traditions alive as we go through the rituals. We realise how little we know. But there are times that we surprise ourselves when the things we try to make turn out as close as they could get to theirs. In time, we feel that we will get better.
Thanks – milk powder & condensed milk
Making traditional treats, regardless of the holiday or festival, is not only a lot of work and skill, but there is a from-scratch approach to making the treats. That is what makes them extraordinary.
Many, if not all of the sweetmeats made at Diwali involve milk (including converting it to cheese and curds) and sugar. Think about it: peera, barfi, gulab jamun, rasmalai, malai (milk) ladoo are all made of milk, converted milk and sugar. For the richness of taste and texture, these sweets are made from scratch, by boiling whole milk, low and slow so the water evaporates leaving the curds that you keep turning until a mass forms, it is called khoa/khoya. From khoya, peera, gulab jamun and other milk-solid sweets are made.
I remember back in 2010 when I first made peera from scratch, it took me 3 attempts, over a period of 48 hours with gallons of milk, standing at the stove for hours slowly stirring milk to reduce it. Never again. I had the experience and that was good enough for me. When it came to making ladoos, I opted for the types that could be made without having to patiently toast flour to get the right colour. Over the years, many of my friends and I have been giving thanks to full cream/whole milk, milk powder and condensed milk! Barfi, no problem. Peera, no problem. Gulab jamun, no problem and the list goes on.
While we may never be the phenomenal cooks our mothers, grandmothers, aunts and uncles were, we are still finding ways to keep the traditions and rituals alive as we navigate our way without them, and their guidance.
One of the things some of us are thinking of doing is coming together, once-a-year, to cook, share, and learn from each other how to make some of these treats and other things from scratch.
As the holidays and festivals roll around, they bring up a lot of feelings and emotions. Each year I tell myself I am not going to do X or Y, and yet, as the time draws near, there is a gentle nudge that says, come on, let’s go shopping to make… and don’t forget to pick up… You know, in time, we’ll be okay. We will be alright. We will laugh, even if through tears.
Have a peaceful and blessed Diwali everyone. May the light always be with you.
Cynthia
cynthia@tasteslikehome.org
