“It is not a perfect world, but today by the Grace of God I can say I am happy with where I am. There are still tears. I still hurt over some things in life, but I have seen too much goodness to not be grateful.”
The words of a mother of three who just turned 50. While many are happy to get to that half-century mark, they are also fearful of ageing for myriad reasons.
“I am celebrating turning 50, but I can’t tell you that I wasn’t somewhat anxious. Now don’t get me wrong, I know many persons have not lived to this age and so I am thanking God. But I would be lying if I said I did not think about getting old,” she said with a soft smile.
“When I look my feet and my hands I can see age stepping in and it does not always sit well with me. There are times when I long for the days of my nice young feet and hands,” she said laughing.
“I am very thin so the effects of age is very visible,” she said as she spread her hands out and raised her feet.
“And there was a hairstyle I wanted that I had years ago and I realized I just did not have enough hair and I am not sure when that happened,” she said with a shake of the head.
“It is like age just crept up on me. But, as I said earlier I am happy to be alive and I am relatively at peace. There is so much happiness you can access in this world that is filled with all kinds of difficulties and I am happy to access a little that can keep me going,” she said reflectively.
I have known this sister for many, many years and I have seen how she has struggled to carve out her niche in this thing called life. I believe her when she says she is at peace with where she is.
“My life has not been an easy one and in recent years I made a very tough decision, one that many, and even me, questioned. There were days when I regretted it but only by the Grace of God I am here today and I can say I am now at peace with that decision,” the sister told me recently.
The decision?
She decided to leave her job, the home she had and everything else that went along with a busy city life and relocate to a remote area. It was a decision that impacted her children and she is conscious that the magnitude of the impact on the lives of her children will not be known until years to come.
“But it was a decision I had to make. I was losing myself and I am not sure if staying would have benefitted them in the long run. Today I am more at peace and my mental health is much stronger and while I may not be able to support them financially, emotionally and psychologically I am all here and I can give them support there. And the doors of my welcoming home will always be opened to them,” she told me.
It took over three years but today she is comfortable.
“Look, I can never starve, even if I don’t have money,” she said proudly.
She has fruit trees, huge patches of vegetables of all sorts. And don’t talk about the many flower plants in the ground and plant pots that beautify her yard and her home. All she planted, with assistance, with her own hands.
“I was out there with my husband, and we got some help too. I would not lie, even and straight and we cut and burn. We logged the huge stumps of trees and burnt them. When we got here my husband had to take a cutlass and cut a path for us. But look at it today,” she said to me, smiling from ear to ear.
“Many days I felt like giving up and there were tears but I am happy that I didn’t. I want to be a blessing to others even as God has blessed me. We share our vegetables and fruits and whatever we have and for me that is the best part. My job also allows me to be a blessing. I am just happy to do good,” she told me.
“And our house was built a lot by do-it-yourself. Yes, we had a contractor to complete the foundation and other major work but a lot of the finishing touches, which is a lot, were done by us and we still have a lot more to do. But once again I am grateful and happy for what God has done for us so far,” she said.
This sister is a deeply religious person and for her everything good that has happened to her, is because of God.
“I know I have been anxious about turning 50, but I know I have so much more to offer and so much more to live for. I just have to embrace this phase of my life and enjoy it. I love planting and now I have an abundance of space to do so. It is very therapeutic, you know. Nothing pleases my heart more than to see a plant shoot up or a fruit on a tree that I have planted,” she told me.
The story of this sister is far from completed. I am just pleased to see where she is today and also the fact that she is at peace. I have always said peace of mind (and I know it is not going to be every day, every minute because there are going to be times when we are anxious and things will bother us) is more important than riches. Yes, being comfortable is important but all the money in the world cannot buy peace of mind. This sister has made peace and she is content with where she is. When adversities come she will deal with them but for now the newly-minted 50-year-old is comfortable and at peace with where she is in life.
